The Nittanyproudfoot

The Grandaddy of Them All

2008-12-31T18:14:00.005-05:00

If you think this team is going to roll over for that over hyped NFL puppy mill living off the reputation of the class of 2005 you've got another thing coming.

They can say what they want but we all know they don't want to be there and they defiantly don't want to play us.

No big pep talk this week. After all the man already said it best years ago...

"Believe deep down in your heart that you're destined to do great things."

You better bring your "A" game Hollywood I guarantee we will

Fight on State!

Remembering Cappy

2008-12-13T21:14:00.007-05:00

Since they presented the Heisman Trophy tonight it seems like a pretty good time to remember the only Penn State recipient. The 1973 Heisman Trophy winner Penn State Tailback John Cappelletti.

Joe Patreno once said "Cappy is the best player I have ever been around. He is strong, fast, durable and a great leader. You know he is going to come through for you when you need him."
We should all be so lucky to have a living legend pay us such a compliment.

For as much as Cappelletti is remembered as a legend of Penn State football for leading the Nittany Lions to an undefeated season in 1973 while accumulating 1,522 yards and 17 touchdowns. He will forever be immortalized for his touching Heisman Acceptance speech, dedicating the award to his kid brother Joey who was struggling with leukemia.

More than just a First-Class Athlete; a First-Class person.
But then again would you expect anything less form the school the gave us Success with Honor?

We Are

peace out yo

Of La Sfogliatella and Syntax Errors

2008-12-09T18:02:00.008-05:00

I think its safe to say. Nittanyproudfoot Winter renovations are at an end.

The Nittanyproudfoot Information Technology/ Experimental Pastry Research and Development Division did a bang up job putting the website back together. There's a few little tweaks till every thing is back to hunky dory but it's safe to say regular posting returns shortly.

On the Menu

Spiritual Adviser and World Famous Sports Handicapper Father Dego Flat of St Byrle of Krakow Catholic Church joins us for The First Annual Nittanyproudfoot Bowl Game Extravaganza Preview Show (tm)
The Merits of placing 9,000 children in an old decrepit building
How the skills you learned from Sesame Street and Highlights Magazine could win you cool stuff while watching Hockey.
The Nittanyproudfoot: Junk You Should Buy for People You Like Holiday Guide
How you can belittle Pitt even months after their horrendous Sun Bowl loss to the Beavers of Oregon State

Holy Awesome Blogging Line Up Batman!
stay tuned folks

peace out yo

its the money pit of website reconstruction

2008-12-08T23:15:00.004-05:00

Doing some renovating. Stay tuned folks.

kicken it up to 88

2008-11-19T19:22:00.005-05:00

Heading up to State...chalk this one up as a phoned in post

I'm going to go ahead and call it now, Paterno will be back for his 46th year as head coach unless he's forced out by that joke who has an office in Old Main.

I would also like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that I'm still running my one man campaign to have the Land Grant Trophy (awarded to the winner of the annual PSU-MSU Game) renamed "The Ugliest Trophy in Sports"

Admit it people calling it "The Game for the Ugliest Trophy in Sports" is the only way this is ever going to turn into a legit rivalry game

interesting facts.....
145 years ago today Lincoln gave the Gettysburg Address
43 years ago today Pop Tarts were invented
25 years ago today Penn State played Pitt
25 years ago today my parents had to push their wedding back by a few minutes so half their guests could listen to the end of PSU-Pitt game in the back of the Church.

That's all I got

I told you I was phoning this one in

Peace Out Yo and Lets Go State

Joe's is Proof

2008-11-09T18:11:00.008-05:00

There is a God

Stick with me here, I've got proof.

The Penn State game comes to an end.
The phone at Nittanyproudfoot Headquarters is ringing off the hook as countless Nittany Loins need to be talked off ledges up and down the Eastern Seaboard.
Yours truly stumbles blearily into the bed room, turns off the lights, and sits quietly in the dark contemplating if it is possible for any of us to exist in a world were Penn State is 9-1..
An hour elapses.
The Nittanyproudfoot rallies, emerges from the darkened room, eats some cheez-its.
Thoughts of watching the Penguins game are quickly pushed aside when the prospect of seeing another sporting loss is considered.
It's time for a movie.
Ghostbusters? ........Nope
Rockey IV?.........Saw it yesterday
Joe's Apartment? .........Yes! Perfect!
Movie starts.....singing cockroaches......morale rising.
Jerry O'Connell steps off a bus.....apparently he is the aforementioned Joe.
Joe steps off the bus......and he's wearing an Iowa Hawkeye's t-shirt.

This is the sound of the Nittanyproudfoot's crushed spirit being ground into a fine powder.

There is a God and he is one twisted Mo-Fo.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to convert to Buddhism

We still Are.....Penn State

A Battle of Titans

2008-11-05T21:27:00.006-05:00

Now that the annoying election is out of the way it's time to get back to what really matters. A topic that is so important that it has it's own Trivia Night Theme Song that goes a little something like this....
(set to the tune of that organ thingy they do at baseball games)

Sports Sports Sports Sports
Sports Sports Sports Sports

So what if it's not much of a theme song. This isn't much of a website. Hey people you get what you pay for and last I checked all I ever got from this site was loss of respect amongst people that read it and a box of triscuits (we'll go ahead and call that one a draw)

Anyway lets talk a little football both real and fantasy.

For as much as I'm looking forward to seeing Penn State back in action this week after the bye I think I'm even more pumped to see how badly Iowa is going to screw up the-whatever-color-out
they think is going to single handedly beat us this weekend. From what I understand it was green, then maybe black, and who knows they may throw some brown in there to form a nice color scheme that dosen't look completely unlike fecal matter. It's a very fitting color interpretation for the state of their football program.

But now we get to the real news of the weekend a battle for the ages pitting yours truly against that plaid hat wearing deviant from The 134 Lounge. A no-holds-barred fight to the finish (that's a good place to end) in both Fantasy Football and College Football Upset Prognostication. In commemoration of this titanic struggle I've had the boys down at The Nittanyproudfoot Art Division/Janitorial Service draw up a quick artist rendering of what this duel may look like.

Not Bad Guys; but I think Brian has a little more
hair on his back.

So the battle lines are drawn. In the 134 Fantasy Football League the pride of The Nittanyproudfoot, the undefeated Jack Ham Sammitch takes on the Lounger's very own Snakes on a Football in a high scoring debacle that will make a Big Twelve match up look like....well Pitt playing themselves.

As for the realm of Prognostication; I'll leave explaining that to the incapable hands of the 134 Lounge...

We are back in week 11 with our three biggest upsets to look for this weekend. Pat and Zack have both tried their hands at calling the shots, with Zack failing miserably and Pat getting all of his correct (I'm certain the NCAA will retroactively change the results of those games to their correct outcome once they realize their mistake). So now I've gone blogger again and recruited Matt from The Nittanyproudfoot to give his best random guesses as to who may or may not pull the heralded upset.

Now this week I'm going to pull a little trickeration and give him the double reverse end-around (Boy does that sound dirty. Mostly because it is.) and throw in my picks along with his to see who is the better guesser...er, prognosticator. So here we go.

1. (15) LSU (6-2) vs (1) Alabama (9-0)
Alert Status: Dangerous like Charlie Weis's cholesterol level

So Matt thinks this is the week for Bama to fall. I don't see it as I think LSU is the one of the most overrated teams in the top 15. Their D isn't near what it was last year and their offense is struggling. I will give them one thing though. They are playing in Death Valley. That place is probably as close to Beaver Stadium in terms of intensity and atmosphere and add in the fact that everyone in Louisiana hates that douchebag Nick Saban, and you have one hell of a hostile environment. Plus Les Miles is a crazy bastard who seems to always do something no one expects in big games to pull out the win. Ok, so I guess that's two things.

My Pick: (8) Oklahoma State over (2) Texas Tech

2. (22) Georgia Tech (7-2) at (19) North Carolina (6-2)
Alert Status: Palatial like Dave Wannestade's moustache

If there is one thing that I know about Matt is that he loves the flexbone offense. I 'm not even joking, he fucking loves the flexbone. You would honestly think he was a college coach from the 40's. So it's no surprise to me that he picked GT to take out the basketball-school-turned-basketball-school-who-attention-to-football-during-the-off season school North Carolina. Probably the only two teams I like in the ACC, which says a lot because I find ACC games to be almost completely unbearable to watch.

My Pick: (11) TCU over (10) Utah

3. (21) Cal (6-2) at (7) USC (7-1)
Alert Status: Fuckin crazy like Lee Corso

Why would you give that man a gun?

So I saw this one and I thought to myself, "Hey Brian. This one has potential.". Then I saw that they were playing it in the Colosseum where USC almost never loses. I'll give him credit, as he's got the brass balls to go out on a limb and pick it, but I'm not seeing it here. USC has the innate ability to lose games they never should, but unfortunately so does Cal, and the Pac-10 is pretty crappy outside of USC. And of course, Oregon State. In fact, if OSU wins out, they go to the Rose Bowl instead of USC. How sweet would that be? GO BEAVS!

My Pick: Actually looking again, I'm going to pick this one too. WTF, right?

Well Folks there you have it. A battle for the ages. Brother against douchebag.
Have a great weekend. Enjoy the sports, enjoy the sun, and if your feeling generous pick up a box of triscuits and ship it over to Nittanyproudfoot LLC World Headquarters in beautiful TubeCity Pa.

Peace Out Yo

Don't Want to Say I Told You So.......But......

2008-11-04T22:20:00.007-05:00

So someone brought up the fact that I wrote this a year and a half ago. I figure what the hell; I love a good excuse to re-post something rather than putting the work into writing into something new.

So without further adieu I give you a post first seen on The Nittanyproudfoot on February 12, 2007.

Turning and Turning The Widening Gyre?

Usually when it comes to politics I tend to err on the side of cynicism but for some reason I really want this to be true. For a very long time my favorite historical figure has been Robert Kennedy. There was so much promise in the 1968 Presidential Campaign and the tragedy that befell him leaves me with lingering thoughts of what could have been. I've always thought of the year 1968 as a promise that the world sorely needed to be fulfilled but was for the most part was buried with its leaders, King in April and RFK only two months later. True the causes they stood for did not disappear after the summer of '68 but no one can deny that the movements took a staggering blow with their deaths one which I feel they have still not fully recovered from even forty years later. Four decades is a long time and a lot changes after that long. You'd be hard pressed to find a connection between The Lawrence Welk Show and anything on the television today (if you don't know what that is go ask someone over 35) But still I can't help but be struck by the similarities of those times and our own.

Now before I go any further I have to make something very clear. I never have been and I never will be a proponent of the statement "we should learn from the past because the past repeats it's self" That's a ridiculous oversimplification that a very poor history teacher feeds to a classroom full of surly tenth graders as an excuse for why they should care about William of Orange and The Glorious Revolution. No, history dose not travel on a circular path and once we experience a moment there is no returning to it. Maybe Yeats got it right, (in his own sort of apocalyptic-crazy-guy-with-an "the end is near sign"-kind -of-way) when he described history as a spiral, growing outward occasionally passing by and sharing similarities with previous points on the spiral. Then again maybe there is no organization to history, after all Yeats claimed that a ghost had given him this theory and that the world would end in 1921.

With that said I was struck a few days ago when I listened to the audio(click here) of Barack Obama's Presidential Announcement. I could not believe how much it sounded like the speeches given by Bobby Kennedy in the spring of 1968. Now it's not fair to either one of them to compare them too closely but as someone who has spent a lot of the last year studying 20th century American history I can't help but marvel how the "spiral" has found it's way back to these circumstances forty years later. Or maybe this is just wishful thinking, a member of Generation Y in search of his own "rendezvous with destiny". Whatever the case may be I feel the need to believe in this. I really truly want this to be my '68, lord knows we could use one.

peace out yo

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.

2008-11-04T05:55:00.001-05:00

Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future.

I can't even begin to put into words just how important today is to the future of our country. I wish you all the best of luck in making your decision.

If you have any questions, need a ride to your polling place, or if you just want to talk some politics you know who to call. nittanyproudfoot@yahoo.com

p.s
Obama is in favor of a NCAA Football Playoff System, John McCain wants to give the National Championship to the Arizona Cardinals

p.p.s
The Nittanyproudfoot has just received a letter from factcheck.org telling us we're full of crap.

p.p.p.s
In response to factcheck.org's allegations of falsifying information we here at the Nittanyproudfoot have concocted a completely untrue story connecting factcheck.com to John Wilkes-Booth, Iatola Khomeini, Eric Lindros, and that guy that was on the news that one time that killed all those puppies after tieng that helpless girl to the train tracks while twirling his mustache. That'll show'em

now lets go change the world

200th Post Extravaganza! (aka. hastily written pre-election post)

2008-11-03T20:57:00.007-05:00

This is interesting. The 200th post in the history of the Nittanyproudfoot falls on the the four year anniversary of our first post back on November 3, 2004. Wait.....what's that you say? It's really not that interesting? You want to see some funny funny pictures? Well we aims to please.

But seriously folks tomorrow's a huge day. Do yourself a favor and be part of it. If you need to know the location of your polling place click HERE

peace out yo

Vote Crabtree-Harrell? Go Thrid Party: Maybin-Bowman 08 The Change We Need the Sacks We Love

2008-11-02T14:59:00.008-05:00

We all knew this was going to happen. If you went to bed last night thinking that Penn State would be number 2 in the rankings you're out of your flippen mind. I said it before and I'll say it again, the BCS lost all credibility the day they invited Pitt to the Fiesta Bowl.

Hang tough kiddies, a big part of being Penn State is being Undefeated, Unnoticed, and Underestimated. But how about we concentrate on winning-out before we complain about the retarded system that lets undefeated teams be be jumped in the rankings? Lets take care of our business and let the chip fall where they may. I'll take this Penn State squad over any other team in the Nation and I'd love to see the Red Raiders try to put up 39 points on Tom Bradley's Defense .

You can keep the polls. If you need us we'll be on the field getting Jopa his 384th career win and 6th Undefeated Season.

Fight on State

2 Minute Warning

2008-10-29T21:21:00.000-04:00

A week without a game seems like a pretty good time to take a deep breath. Do yourself a favor stop reading all the junk in the national media. We'll see plenty of that garbage in the weeks to come. Let's think about just how lucky we are. An undefeated team, in the hunt for the Big Ten and National Championships. And lets not forget about the man who is still running the show

Sports Illustrated December 22-29, 1986

From whom else but Paterno did we learn that you can have 20-20,000 vision and still see more clearly than almost every-body else, that you can look like Bartleby but coach like Bryant, that you can have your kids hit holes like 'Bama's and books like Brown's, that the words "college" and "football" don't have to be mutually exclusive.

Paterno just isn't ready to give up swatting at windmills. As Paterno once said, "Look, we're so cynical about everything these days. Everybody's a cynic. But what if an 18-year-old kid wants to be an idealist? What if he wants to find some integrity in college athletics? Where's he going to go?"

For another four or five years at least, he can pack up his copy of Huck Finn and report to the squatty, near-sighted guy in the white socks and the nervous pants legs in State College, Pa., just as kids have been doing with splendid results for three decades. That's why we choose Joe Paterno as Sportsman of the Year.

The next few weeks are going to be very exciting but lets not loose track of how special this is.
A Team
A School
And the Great Experiment

The Nittanyproudfoot Now With 30% More Belligerence

2008-10-26T00:44:00.005-04:00

Holy Cow do I have a list of stuff that is (to put it in the words of a great man) making me choke on my own rage.

1.
No one should be allowed to touch the Stanley Cup unless they win the Stanly Cup. I don't think that I should be allowed to touch it and I sure as hell don't think the lead singer of a defunct 80's hair metal group should be allowed to either. Meet the dumbest human being in existence....

This is Joe Elliott. Joe dosen't understand the concept of a cup.

Cup (noun) [kuhp] a small, open container made of china, glass, metal, etc., usually having a handle and used chiefly as a receptacle from which to drink tea, soup, etc.
Yes

No
2.
Seriously guys no more (insert color)-Outs. You just can't pull them off. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. The success of the Penn State White-Out has very little to do with people wearing the color white. Sure it makes the stadium look nice but just because you decide to all wear the same color doesn't mean you will suddenly be transformed into the best stadium in the country. Beaver Stadium is always that loud during night games, because 1) it's gigantic and filled with rabid fans and 2) because everyone's been tailgating since 8 am. So everybody's done their ---Out, you all tried your hand at it. Why don't you just leave it to the professionals now?

By the way....Iowa's doing a "Greene-Out" a week from Saturday

3.
Staying on the topic of college football. I've just about had my fill of the columnists at Yahoo Sports and Rivals.com. A line has been crossed. This morning Yahoo Sports led with a photo of Joe Paterno with the words "The Big Lie" over it. Absolutely unacceptable. There's a difference between being provocative and yellow journalism. How dare these frauds question Penn State's run at a national Championship. You question whether Penn State has the right to be in your precious BCS? Here are some teams that were thought to be BCS worthy by the national media in the last 10 years.
Stanford
Colorado
Maryland
Washington State
Kansas State
Utah
Pitt
Louisville
Wake Forest
Hawaii
Syracuse
No team has been on the wrong side of media chosen National Championship more times than my Nittany Lions. We don't take kindly to people telling us were our Undefeated Team dosen't belong.

Just leave us alone until we line up against your beloved Texas Longhorns. They may be one heck of a team but you better believe we'll give them a game that will make them wish they were playing a Big 12 team that hasn't played defense since the mid-90's

4.
Has anyone else noticed that there are no good horror movies on this year? What the hell happened to MonsterFest, 13 Days of Halloween, Classic Horror on TMC, marathons of Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Friday the 13th? You wanna know what AMC is showing this year? Constantine and Jeepers Creepers. What the hell AMC? Way to ruin one of the best TV weeks of the year. Where's the Romero? the Hitchcock? American Werewolf in London? Nosferatu? Evil Dead? Why don't you jokes go ahead and put your Christmas junk on TV you know you want to.

That's it I'm going to take my rage out in a game of NHL 09. Way to go world thanks to you I'm the most penalized player in the National Hockey League.

And that so wasn't a Cross-Check

Peace Out Yo

You Need to Play with Supreme Confidence

2008-10-24T12:56:00.005-04:00

This may ruffle some feathers but it needs to be said.

It's time to stop giving the other team credit.
Call it the "Spirit of '94" but I say stop fearing the Big Ten

This isn't going to be easy for a lot of you that came into the Penn State family in our darkest hour.
But that hour is over.
What did you think that "We Are Back" stuff was about in 2005? We are back to second or third place in the Big Ten?
It's time to embrace our history

You are Fans of One of the Elite Teams in Sports History
2 Big Ten Titles ( 94, 05)
4 National Championships ( 1911, 1912,1982, 1986)
7 Undefeated Seasons (1887, 1912, 1968, 1969, 1973, 1986, 1994)
107 All- Americans
21 Players in the College Hall of Fame
11 Players in the Pro Football Hall of Fame
797 -347 Record
26-12 Bowl Record
The Biggest Stadium in the Country
The Greatest Coach in the History of College Football

I know for a lot of you its hard to forget the last 8 years, but don't forget about the 113 years before that.

You are part of 121 years of Success with Honor
We don't showboat. We're not cocky. We just know that We Are Penn State, and that means that every Saturday no matter who is standing on the other sideline we expect to win.

You Are Penn State, soon the rest of the country will know what that means.

Lions win 34 - 23

side note: The painting at the top of the page was created by former Penn State Defensive End Matthew Rice, it's entitled "Undefeated" and depicts the 1994 Ohio State-Penn State Game. You may remember Rice's other work "Blueprint"that was the background for the 05 football poster. You can see (and purchase) all of Rice's works at his online gallery at http://www.mateoblu.com/

Hail to the Lion

It All Began With a Hole in a Flag

2008-10-21T23:27:00.007-04:00

Today marks the 52nd anniversary of the Hungarian Revolution and though I doubt this fact will convince your boss to give you the day off work it is worth taking a moment to dwell on.

On October 23, 1956, students took to the streets of Budapest, where they were joined by teachers, soldiers, and factory workers. These average people threw out a corrupt puppet government and stood toe to toe with the juggernaut Soviet Union

Here's a quick excerpt from Andor Heller's No More Comrades

"I saw freedom rise from the ashes of Communism in Hungary: a freedom that flickered and then blazed before it was beaten down -but not extinguished- by masses of Russian tanks and troops.

I saw young students, who had known nothing but a life under Communist and Russian control, die for a freedom about which they had only heard from others or from their own hearts.

I saw workers, who had been pushed to the limit of endurance by their hopeless existence under Communism, lay down their tools and take up arms in a desperate bid to win back freedom for our country.

I saw a girl of fourteen blow up a Russian tank, and grandmothers walk up to Russian cannons.

I watched a whole nation, -old and young, men and women, artists and engineers and doctors, clerks and peasants and factory workers- become heroes overnight as they rose up in history's first successful revolt against Communism.

With my own eyes and my camera's eye, I saw Hungary's Freedom Revolution"

In 13 days (Nov 4) no one is going to ask you stand up to Nikita Khrushchev, to blow up a tank, or even march in our US streets for your freedom. All you are asked to do is pick who you want to lead your country. Now that doesn't seem so hard does it?

It's fairly obvious from the banner in the top of the left side panel who my choice is, and though I have found said candidate not only worth my vote but also countless hours of my time I don't ask you to vote for him purely on my endorsement. All I ask is that you fulfill the simplest of responsibility of citizenship. On November 4th go to your local polling place and make the choice that is best for you.

What a country we live in were you are asked to do no more. And what an affront to freedom everywhere if you choose to do less.

peace out yo

Man Up!

2008-10-20T16:50:00.009-04:00

It's time again to take a look at a nifty link to brighten up your online life. If you haven't been following along this is our attempt to put the spark back in internet by doing a little bookmark swapping.

Today we look at The Art of Manliness
I could go into a long winded and poorly spell checked review but the authors of the site have already provided an excellent introduction to their little corner of the internet.

"All you need to do is turn on the TV to see that the world is wallowing in unmanliness. Today’s man has forgotten what it means to be a man. Instead we have a society of boys walking around in man bodies. We’ve let video games and television suck the manly vigor out of our collective man soul.

The field is white my friends. There are millions of men out there waiting to hear the message of manliness. They’re ready to learn how clean a fish, win a street fight, or jump start a car. They’re ready to start dating women. They’re ready to ask for a raise. They’re ready be men of honor and virtue. They’re ready, but they just need someone to deliver the message.

What they need is some of that old time manliness. The kind our grandfathers and dads lived. If it was good enough for them, it’s good enough for us."

I gotta admit I'm not above playing the occasional video game or blowing a Sunday afternoon napping rather than lifting large triangular weights while twirling my handlebar mustache. But I think these guys have a point. We have to come to terms with the fact that the 21st century man has gotten a little soft. We've lost sight of what it is to be manly, mistaking it for redneck schovanism and frat boy machismo.

It's time we embraced the life style of our forefathers.
Talk like Frank Sinatra
Shine your boots like a soldier
Grill the perfect steak.
Dress up for a Night on the town.
Treat a woman like a lady
Drink a manly drink.
Build a fire without matches
Exercise to be fit not to look like a spray-tanned tool
Shave with a blade not the latest travesty perpetrated by Gelett
Give a great speech
Win a Street fight.
Climb a Mountain

I'm not saying we all need to turn into Teddy Roosevelt over night. But hey, if it was good enough for our fathers maybe if wouldn't do us any harm either. Also it would be cool if we could bring back the word "bully!". Yea that would be awesome

As always the new link is in the side bar

peace out yo

In the Middle of the State There is a Mountain. In the Shadow of That Mountian is a School

2008-10-20T16:00:00.007-04:00

Before we return to the slight against the English language known as The Nittanyproudfoot how about a Time-Out for a moment of sincerity?

Can we even begin to explain Penn State?
It's goes beyond a location, or affiliation, or even (dare I say?)....team loyalty
It has at the same time nothing and everything to do with a football team, a school, and a little town in the middle of Pennsylvania

Here's to The Happy Valley
To Blue Bands and House Bands
To Riddles on Beer Caps and Friday Afternoon Power-Naps
To Nickel Night, Nacho Night, and LOST Night
To Passing the Lion and Passing the Bottle
To Reunions Both Long Awaited and Unexpected
To New Friends That You Wish Were Old
To Old Friends That Became a Second Family

Somewhere along the line "We Are" became so much more that a football chant

peace out yo

Time's Up Michigan

2008-10-17T05:43:00.000-04:00

Most weeks are about wins and statistics and polls.
Not this week.
This is personal

Do you remember how you felt on October 15, 2005?

I do.

These bastards deserve everything they get
Hail to the Lion

Lest We Forget

2008-10-13T00:38:00.005-04:00

Forget about all the wins. Forget about Illinois and Wisconsin. Put Ohio State and Michigan State out of your mind. The record means nothing. Number 3 means nothing. Forgo the pomp and circumstance, the publicity, the accolades, the commentators wearing mascot heads, and the pregame shows being brought to you by canned chili peppers and big box hardware stores.

None of it matters

Before the thought of Miami sun in the cold days of January creeps into our subconscious we have business to attend to.

2 Seconds worth of business to be exact.
And we intend to take those 2 seconds out of Michigan's hide

Do you remember the headline of the Collegian the day after the Big Ten Championship in 2005?

This is what we are fighting for

We're not going to play second fiddle to a bunch of jokes that can't hold their own against any team West of the Rockies or South of the Mason-Dixon Line
We didn't join this Conference to be average.
We are bigger than any Conference
We Are Penn State. It's time we started acting like it.

Believe deep down in your heart that you're destined to do great things.

Badger's Smiling

2008-10-11T06:44:00.000-04:00

After "Experiencing the Evolution" the last few seasons. The Pittsburgh Penguins have settled on a new media campaign to start the 08-09 season. Drumroll Please...

Anyone who knows me knows that one of my favorite sayings is "It's a Great Day for Hockey". If you love Pittsburgh Hockey you should obviously thank the likes of Lemieux, Malkin, Patrick, Jager, Shero, Stevens, Crosby, Fleury, Borrasso. etc etc But don't forget the impact that Badger Bob Johnson had on this city's hockey culture. It's one thing to have a winning hockey team it's another to be a hockey city, just ask Raliegh. If you are from Pittsburgh and you love hockey thank Badger.

Bonus points for using The Clarks as the music for the video

Big Game tonight at 7:30. It will be a Great Day for Hockey in Pittsburgh, then again most days are.

Peace Out Yo

Neat Stuff Is Neat!

2008-10-10T14:16:00.006-04:00

As promised today we begin our series on new nifty links to brighten up your online life. Our first link is www.uncrate.com

Uncrate is a site for dudes that like cool stuff. And lets face it wanting to buy and then show off our cool stuff is a big part of being a man. Give a man the following list of stuff and I guarantee he'll want every item on it.

1. Ice tray that makes bullet shaped cubes
2. Your own custom Irish Pub complete with a years supply of Guinness
3. Coffee table made out of a car hood
4. The Emperors Chair from Star Wars
5. Solar Panel Picnic Table
6. Man Candles with scents like beer, campfire, grass, pancake, pigskin, and stripper
7. iPod Speaker that looks like a 1930's radio
8. An Authentic Indiana Jones Hat.
9. Airsoft Gun with a Laser sight
10. The Christmas Tress from Charlie Brown Christmas

Admit you want this stuff. You really really want this stuff. Bookmark Uncrate.com , they update it every week day. Who knows you may find the one item in the world that will make you the coolest kid on the block!

All new links can be found in the sidebar under "Stuff I Like to Look At"

Before we go lets check in with our Pass Russhing Pontif Father Dego Flat of St Beryl of Krakow Catholic Church.

Hey Padre do you prediction for the big game Saturday night?

Good advice Father. It's going to be a huge month for PSU if they make it through 3-0 they deserve a BCS birth.

Alright gang that's it for the week. Pens Home Opener Saturday at 7:30, PSU Saturday at 8:00. Enjoy the great sports weekend!

Peace Out Yo

Schadenfreude

2008-10-07T23:32:00.002-04:00

The Flyers lost to their AHL farm team the Philly Phantoms in an exhibition game. Don't Believe me? Here's the Recap

Let's go ahead and let that won sink in.

The Flyers lost to their own JV team.

Life is Good

Peace Out Yo

Variety is the Spice of Life

2008-10-06T21:03:00.005-04:00

The internet is great. Really great. Superduper great. Like keg of Guinness and a sack of cheeseburgers while watching your team win the National Championship great. But admit it every morning you wake up click through a list bookmarks and then you go about your day.

All the information in the world and how are we using it? Too look up the history of Aquaman.
I'm surprised Al Gore still lets us use this miracle tool.
The internet has become stale. When you want to know something you go to the same places, ESPN, IMDB, Wikipedia, you read a handful of blogs, a handful of comics, then kill sometime on Youtube. That's it.

A while back I thought about starting a book club but lets face facts. None of you read, it may have been my worst idea ever. I am however fairly certain that you frequent websites (either that or I'm working on a healthy case of carpel tunnel for no reason whatsoever) So here is what I propose. I'll show you mine if you show me your.........links (you filthy pre-vert). Lets all take a long look at our bookmarks and share the wealth. You know there's a site you look at every day that you'd love to share with the rest of the class. Ladies and gentlemen lets make the internet fun again.

Leave a post, send an email, or IM your link. Heck if you really want to write a review and I'll post it on the site.

first review sometime this week

peace out yo

Is This The Year?

2008-10-03T14:36:00.001-04:00

It really seems like only a few weeks ago that it all ended. And like 28 other teams the Pens were faced with the prospect of going home without the hardware they've dreamed about their entire lives. Tough Times. But like I said hockey doesn't go away after the season it just goes back to it's roots, back to the ponds and parking lots were kids in scroungy pads play for the pure joy of the game.

Today hockey moves back into the national consciousness. If you haven't been keeping up with the sport now is an excellent opportunity to come back. But don't take my word for it, just ask some of the fans that have re-embraced the game in the last few years. There is a reason why 20,000 people are willing to fork over $200 just to be placed on a list to get season tickets 10 years from now.

Come back to hockey. You won't regret it

Is this the season? Hang on we're about to find out.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

And a great day for hockey

Peace Out Yo

I Think Less of People That Don't Know Ogie Oglethorpe

2008-09-30T20:50:00.004-04:00

Hey gang we've got some extenuating circumstances this week so you're going to have to bare with us. Nittanyproudfoot Multimedia is moving to the Metro-DC area for the rest of the week to deal with some unfortunate family business. So we're faced with a choice between some really high quality writing that should have been completed this week and doing laundry before leaving the state ( damn my weakness for clean socks)

So hang on kiddies for an extremely unsatisfying post.

Hockey season starts this week. And needless to say we're all super pumped for it. There's only one tiny problem, the folks at the Nittanyproudfoot Sports Department waited till the last minute to start work on their season preview so lets just say they can turn their report in next week but only for half credit. Our Winter Sports Corespondent Sanka Coffie did send along some notes to give us a little taste heading into what should be a very exciting weekend for the sport.

- Look for another big year from the Pens, that doesn't necessarily mean another 2nd place finish in the east. But it's certainly not out of the question to think that we'll still be talking about the "next game" heading into the first week of June

- The Whitney and Gonchar injuries are a pretty big blow but don't sleep on the Pens Defense, there's some serious talent on the blue line. Expect a big year out of Letang and a huge year for the Pens if Goligoski is producing.

- A handful of teams including the Pens are playing in Europe this week. In addition to playing each other the NHL teams are also playing exhibitions against teams from the better leagues of Europe. Now I know a lot of hockey fans are in favor of doing away with the preseason to cut down on injuries. And I know playing a European team could end up like Apollo Creed fighting Ivan Drago but as of right now I am in favor of anything that leads to more exposure for the League. Now ask me the same question next week after Crosby has an encounter with some goon trying to make a name for himself and I may change my mind.

-Finally the Chicago Blackhawks have been elected The Nittanyproudfoot Western Conference Team of the Year (tm). We're not expecting the Hawks to blow the Red Wings out of the water this year but they're looking like a playoff contender this season. Also we're going to go ahead and predict the Hawks will beat the Wings in the second installment of the NHL Winter Classic at Wrigley Field New Years Day

Father Dego Flat our Resident Spiritual Adviser is also taking it easy this week. The Padre has been holding his vacation time over our heads ever since he did that restaurant review a few weeks back. Last we heard he was on his way to Oakland to preform an exorcism at the Colosseum. We didn't have the heart to tell him that Al Davis is just an old psycho and not possessed

So Paul Newman passed away this week. Not only did he make some pretty awesome salad dressing but he also stared in one of the greatest sports movies ever, Slapshot. I've said it before and I'll say it again . If you haven't seen Slapshot I truly do think less of you as a person.

Big Penn State trip last weekend and it really deserves a quality post. Not going to happen. Here's the Cliff Notes. Happy Vally = Amazing must go back and stay forever. Saw Darrell Clark at Perkins. Can-Jam best game ever. Other schools should stop doing Color-Outs. Chicks dig Pirate Songs (more on that at The 1-3-4 Lounge)

Alright gang that's it. I'm out for the week.

Let Go State, Lets Go Pens, and Let Go Drinking When I Get Home Saturday

Peace Out Yo

The Padre's Take

2008-09-25T15:18:00.000-04:00

Before the start of the football weekend we turn our Pass Rushing Pontiff Father Dego Flat to answer all of our Sporting Questions.

Dear Padre,

My football team is bad. Really bad. Like, loose of Notre Dame bad. I've only been on the job for three games and I've already managed to loose any credibility I had from coaching at my former University. At this point I only have one chance to save face. I need to beat Ohio State next month. The Buckeye's haven't looked so hot this year. How good do you think the Bucks are? Do I have a shot this year?

Hey Father,

Boy am I having a tough week. My dog ran away, I accidentally drank the sour milk in the fridge, my team lost to the 49ers, I find out that Scrubs is canceled, and now I'm looking for a new job after my boss canned me Tuesday night. Anyway Father I guess my question is. Do you know anyone that's hiring?

Matt M
Detroit Michigan

Thanks Father, Hey I got a little favor to ask before we let you go. Do you think you could throw a little blessing out towards the Happy Valley in preparation for the weekend?

You the Man Padre
Alright we are on a 7 day break. The Nittanyproudfoot will be back next week. And guess what kids ? It's almost hockey season!

Right Happy Valley here I come.

Peace Out Yo

Lets Go State!

In a Hole in the Ground There Lived......

2008-09-23T16:39:00.006-04:00

Forgot to post this the other day.

I started reading the Lord of the Rings books again yesterday. And I submit the following fact for your consideration and possible nomination as the single most dorky thing you know about me award.

Every year for the last 11 years I have read the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings books starting on September 22. Why September 22? Well that's the really dorky part. September 22 is one of the most important dates in the Tolkien's works.

Events of September 22.

1290 Birth of Bilbo in the Shire
1341 Bilbo and the barrels reach Lake-town
1368 Birth of Frodo in the Shire
1401 The long expected party
1418 Frodo leaves the Shire
1419 Saruman comes to the Shire
1421 Last Ride of the Keepers of the Rings in Woody End
1482 Sam leaves Bag End for the East

Hey don't judge me, I never put on a cape and I've defiantly never owned a pair of elf ears. I just consider it to be an unbelievably well written set of books. Anyway I thought about reading a chapter a week then posting about it. But lets face it nobody reads....ever. Book club is the worst idea ever. So we'll just stick to sports music and the other witty banter you've come to expect (but never seem to find) at The Nittanyproudfoot.

Word on the street is that they are making the Hobbit into two movies directed by Guillermo del Toro and produced by Peter Jackson. Jackson and his team are writing it now. The films will be shot in New Zealand in the Spring of 2010 with release dates in December of 2011 and 2012. Nice I love midnight-dork-movie-openings!

P.S.
Heading to PSU this weekend for the big WhiteOut game against Illinois. So the Padre will answer our sporting questions a little early then The Nittanyproudfoot is going on a week long hiatus.

Peace Out Yo and Lets Go State

The Great Turkey LiveBlog

2008-09-22T10:07:00.017-04:00

Somebody bought a Turkey and guess who has to cook it. That's right this guy.

And although I consider myself to be a cook of the highest order I have never done a turkey so I figured this could be an awesome chance to do a little live turkey-bloging. The bolggng's live hopefully the turkey's not.

10 Am The Hunt for Giblets

Ok honestly is it really necessary to leave a bag of guts inside a bird? I really don't need a bag of guts. As a matter of fact I'd drop an extra dollar or two to have a turkey sans-guts.

10:30 Am Progress Stopped Cold
Ok who's the jerk that didn't defrost the bird all the way? This is going to be one uber-long day.
Turkey plays hot tub in the sink I kill time watching an old western.

11:00Am All Greased Up and Ready for the Show
Bird out of the bath. De-Gutted and Sans-Neck all fired up and ready to go.
Grease that mother down and chuck it in the over. If my calculations are correct dinner will be ready sometime on Wednesday.

11:30 Am Dinner with a Happy Ending
Checking the internet for a good rub, I mean spices to put on the bird, get your mind out of the gutter.

11:45 Am More Than Meets the Eye
This website says you should name the turkey. So I hereby dub thee Optimums Prime.
12:00 PM Jimmy Stewart Real Action Hero
Watching this western when all of a sudden Jimmy Stewart, Its a Wonderful Life Jimmy Stewart, just stabbed a man in the head, apparently that's how the west was won

12:15 PM Got a Cup of All-Spark I can Borrow?
Check in on Optimums Prime, he hasn't transformed into dinner yet. Get your ass in gear Go-Bot.

12:30 Pm Gold in Them Thar Hills
Whoo! Grizzled old Miner is in this movie. When I turn 80 I'm going to start talking like that all the time dag-nab-it!

12:55 Funny Funny Jokes
What does a turkey eat on thanksgiving?
Nothing they're already Stuffed hahahahahahaha! Whoooooo!

1:15 PM You Blame Me and I Blame The Decepticons
Optimums Prime gets basted. I burn my arm on the door and immediately curse Megatron.

1:45 PM
Baste Optimums. Pop a couple aspirin, I think I pulled a muscle doing Zombie Nation on Saturday.

3:00 PM
Handful of basting breaks later Big O-Prime is still doing his thing in the oven.. Now I know why there's football on Thanksgiving, this is some long ass boring stuff. Started watching 25th Hour with Edward Norton and Rosiro Dawson, pretty good flick.

4:00 PM
The damn thermometer button thingy won't pop. From now on the thermometer button thingy will be known as the "F U I don't care if you're hungry, you can't eat yet Button"

4:20 PM
Ahhhhhhhhh! For the love of god "F U I don't care if you're hungry, you can't eat yet Button" Why don't you pop! I'm waisting away.

4:55PM
Optimus Prime is ready. Lets roll Autobots!

Next time I'm just ordering Chinese

Peace Out Yo

Theres One Thing That You Gotta Understand

2008-09-21T16:09:00.002-04:00

Yep the time is ripe for a music post.

Let me rephrase that.
The time is ripe for a music post with lots of bullet points because I don't feel like fashioning my thoughts in to logical coherent paragraphs that come together to prove an over all thesis. Also I'm going to add a bunch of unnecessary videos because it's my blog and I can do whatever the hell I want.

Little Man Tate released a new CD called Nothing Worth Having Comes Easy. It's worth a listen if you're in the mood for new music

I took a trip to the Johnstown Folk Music Festival a few weeks ago. Always a good time. I actually got to meet and hang out with one of my favorite bands Seven Nations a few years ago. Anyway they didn't have a celtic Rock band in the line up this year but all and all I was pleasantly surprised by their musical spread. Two Groups really stood out.

Big Sam's Funky Nation -
A group mixing Funk with the sounds of a New Orleans Brass Band. The lead singer Big Sam spends half of the show belting out ridiculously cool tunes on his trombone while doing creole street dances around the stage. When I showed up halfway through their set they had an audience of a few hundred people that didn't look anything like Funk aficionados jumping around going crazy. These guys are entertainers pure and simple and I'd love to see them again if I get the chance

Jason Ricci & New Blood
Jason Ricci is the best harmonica player you will ever hear, I guarantee it. The music has a lot of jazz, funk, and blues influences along with a healthy hard rock crunch. I loved their vocals especially the girl that did lead vocals on a couple of the blues riffs, she was lights out. I went home after the show and downloaded two of their CDs, they were so good that I'll probably buy them from the website when I stop spending all my internet related time worrying about my fantasy football team.

Right-o if you consider that the Good I guess this is the Bad.

I got a call a few weeks ago from some friends. They had an extra ticket to a show and asked me to go along. We'll I've never been one to turn down live music no mater how good or bad (after all I lived with the travesty that was Those Handsome Devils for an entire year) Anywhoo the show turned out to be made up heavy metal bands, not exactly my cup of tea. If you want to to get the image of me at a heavy metal show just imagine me at Players then add some really weird piercings and lots of black cloths. All and all awkward. Don't get me wrong live music is always cool, and if I was on a metal kick I'm sure I would have loved it but I've never been a fan of the angry mosh pit. I just don't want to get punched in the back of the head while I listen to music.

Speaking of metal apparently Metallica has a new CD. I did go through a Metallica stage in Ninth grade and I still maintain that S & M was one of the best concert CDs ever released but St Anger was the worst album I ever bought and I refuse to listen to one single song until the band personally apologizes and gives me my money back. Even then it probably not find it's way into the ipod. I mean how pissed would the 14-year-old wanna-be-metal- head-Nittanyproudfoot be if he found out most of my music collection was made up of Ska and Brit-Rock?

The Good (check), The Bad( Yep that too), The........Geekcore?

Right so I go to that metal show and all the bands are loud and angry and screaming into the microphone about how girls don't like them and how they want to punch a baby. Then all of a sudden this little white guy walks up on stage, plugs in his laptop and starts rapping. I'm not sure who was more shocked me or the crowed of metal head. So the guys name is MC Chris apparently he is a Geekcore rapper (think hip hop Weezer) and in my book he puts on one hell of a show. He was definitely was worth the trip to the South Side and the ridiculous parking debacle that went along with it. The really cool thing is all of his music mixes rap with geek culture which is great because I love rap but I've spent much more of my life watching cartoons than I have shooting people over turf wars and crack deals. His music is hilarious and it's definitely a nice change of pace from musicians with more serious messages.

The Guy also provides some serious major league witty banter between songs here's him talking about The Goonies

That is some funny funny stuff.

Somewhere in an alternate dimension Heavy Metal Nittanyproudfoot Grinds His teeth
Hahahaha wait till he hears my collection of Big Band Revival!

peace out yo

The Padre's Take

2008-09-19T06:51:00.001-04:00

Before the start of the football weekend we turn our Pass Rushing Pontiff Father Dego Flat to answer all of our Sporting Questions.

Dear Padre,

I'm an older gentlemen that has been working at the same profession for a number of years and I have accumulated a very prestigious record. There is another gentlemen also of an advanced age that has accumulated a nearly identical record except for a few key points. First the gentlemen has attend and won more bowl games, second this individual has recruited players of higher moral quality, and third a large portion of my wins came while competing in a lower level of our profession. Padre should I continue to compete against this distinguished adversary or graciously admit defeat to the man and his superior record?

Robert B.
Tallahassee , Florida

Dear Padre,

Did you see my USC Trojans beat the heck out of the Buckeyes last week? Man I don't think there is anyone in the country that can stop that team, they're unbeatable! Padre, do you think this USC team could be the best college football team ever? I personally feel it will be years before there is a National Championship Game without this team involved. We're witnessing the greatest dynasty in the history of collegiate athletics.

C Palmer
Ohio

Thanks Father Dego, and keep those questions coming folks.
Enjoy the football and Lets Go State

peace out yo

Concerning Fish Soup and Fly Routes

2008-09-16T21:48:00.001-04:00

File this under......hmmmm? Really? What the hell?

Somehow, don't ask me how, I stumbled across the website for Amos Zereoue's New York Bistro.

Let's go ahead and let that one sink in for a minute.
Is their any useless piece of knowledge that the information superhighway can't provide us with?

Apparently after becoming the only player in the last 10 years to join the Patriots and not get a Super Bowl ring in 2005 Amos retired from football and did the next logical thing. He opened a small chic bistro in Manhattan specializing in French/ African cuisine especially recipes originating from the Ivory Coast.

And somewhere out there in Retired Athlete World Verron Haynes and Richard Huntley yell " shit why didn't we think of that?!"

So with the discovery of this groundbreaking piece of culinary news we here at The Nittanyproudfoot were going to scramble our resident International Food Critic to New York when we realized we don't have a resident International Food Critic. So we turned to our Winter Sports Corespondent Sanka Coffie but he is in the middle of an intense training regime for the Fall Pushcart Championships of Jamaica. We found ourselves with one hell of a story and no one to cover it. There was only one answer......Go to Church.

That's right our very own Nittanyproudfoot Spiritual Adviser, Father Dego Flat of St Beryl of Krakow, is pulling double duty this week.

Hey Father How are things at St Beryl's

Oh man that's rough but at least it's not as bad as the time PacMan Jones crushed all of the Sacramental Wine.

Father Dego, What did you think of Famous Amos' place in the NYC?

There you have it. Amos makes a tasty fish soup but you're probably going to have to opt for a frozen pizza unless you've got a place on Central Park West.

Thanks Padre We'll talk to you on Friday

peace out yo

Holy Cow! Look What I Found

2008-09-15T06:25:00.001-04:00

So I was cleaning out the Archives in preparation for the Nittanyproudfoots upcoming 200th post extravaganza when I found this. It's a post I forgot to publish in September of 2005.
Ahhh Fall 2005 those were truly the best of times. M-Rob was the Quaterback, Velevetta played the Crowbar on Thursdays, and there was always a case of Lionshead and a Bell's Pizza waiting at the 1-3-4

Neighbors: They Live Right Next Door (and that's a little scary)
Here's a little question for you. Do you think it would be considered an illegal sub-let to allow someone to live in a tent under your deck? Because that's definitely what my neighbors are doing. Every day when I leave for school I see some guy stumble out of the tent and walk in the back door of the house. I hope they're at least giving the poor guy a break on rent since he doesn't have internet access (or a bathroom for that matter).

Oh by the way, if anyone's interested, I'm now accepting applications from parties interested in renting the rustic living quarters beneath my back patio.

Tent not included.

peace out yo

The Padre's Take

2008-09-12T03:41:00.000-04:00

Hey Kiddies the week is over and as a reward for managing to go 7 days without being mauled by an escaped circus lion or run over by a bus we have a brand spanking new weekly feature for your enjoyment!

The Nittanyproudfoot's website chaplain Father Dego Flat of St Byrle of Krakow Catholic Church has agreed to join the Nittanyproudfoot writing staff on a weekly basis to answer all your sports related questions as long as you, and I quote " save all the God stuff of Sunday morning". So feel free to write in with all your sporting questions because the answer lies within the Church basement were Father Dego has turned the Bingo Hall into one kick-ass sports bar!

The Padre's Take
Before the start of the football weekend we turn our Pass Rushing Pontiff to answer all of our Sporting Questions.

Dear Padre,
I'm a huge Buckeye's fan who has fallen on tough times. Last weeks game was rather depressing. Not only did OSU look horrible against Ohio U of the MAC but I was nearly shanked by the Vick brothers in the Mess Hall. Do my Buckeyes have any hope of beating USC? I could really use some good news after my last probation hearing.
M Clarett
San Quentin Prison

Dear Padre,
What's you take on the injury of the New England Patriots star Quarterback Tom Brady? Has he dammed his team to a season at the bottom of the AFC standings?
B Morris
A Crackhouse in Wikensburg

Thanks Father Dego!

Enjoy the Football Everybody.
Lets Go State

Peace Out Yo

I Heard He's Changing His Last Name to Dix-Sept

2008-09-08T19:12:00.012-04:00

I love sports nicknames

Mean Joe
The Great Bambino
The Little Ball of Hate
Big Papi
Mr. Hockey
Fast Willie
The Iron Horse
Refrigerator
The Round Mound of Rebound
Pops
The Sauerkraut Kid
The Galloping Ghost
The Splendid Splinter
Sweetness
The Admiral
Iron Mike
Le Magnifique
You know that an athlete has arrived when he is given a truly first rate nickname

The General rule for nicknames at Penn State was to follow one of three formulas

1 Players Initials
- Larry Johnson becomes "LJ"
- Alan Zemitis becomes "AZ"
- And of course Darryl Clark Becomes "DC"

2 The Paterno Method - Half of the first name half the last
- Joe Paterno becomes "Jopa"
- Derrek Williams becomes "D-Will"
- Michael Robinson becomes the Legend that is "M-Rob"

3 The Swatkatz Maneuver - Repeat part of the players name twice
- Maurice Evans becomes "Mo-Mo"
-Evan Royster becomes "Roy-Roy"

Along with a personal nickname. Occasionally a player reaches a level of greatness that merrits their own cheering section within the stadiun. Or in the case of Joe Paterno his own Shanty-Town.
-Paternoville
-Poz's Posse
-Deion's Buttlers
God I love those! Unfortunately the 1-3-4 Crew spent so much time drinking most weekends that getting a sign into the front row wasn't going to happen. Hell I would have been surprised if we stayed sober long enough to write legibly on the bed sheet to even take to the game.

Alas I was never in a witty cheering section but hey a guy can still dream. So in commemoration of Darryl Clark winning the illustrious John Speedy Work Doer of the Week Award we here at The Nittanyproudfoot have begun an exhaustive search to find the perfect nickname for a DC cheering section. And as JoPa as our witness we will not go to a single Pirate Game until this task is completed at a level befitting DC's high level of play.

Update: 5 Hours and Two Monday Night Football Games later

So far the results have run the gamut from "I guess that's almost clever" to "What you just said, might have been The stupidest answer ever given in the history of mankind. Everyone here is now dumber for have listened to it. You are awarded no points And may god have mercy on your soul."

Just bare with us this is a work in progress

OK DC wears 17

The number of syllables in a haiku (5+7+5)

Not creative enough to do anything with that

Section 17 - Saw a CIA movie with that in it once. Ok get this, everyone wears white suits, sun glasses, and ear pieces like secret agents.

Not Bad

DC's Capital Critters - What am I the only one that remembers that cartoon?

Fine but you miss the opportunity to have cartoon mice and bugs on your sign.

17's Flying Fortress - DC #17 + B-17 Flying Fortress. Could all wear scarfs and an old timey flying goggles

Needs work but has potential.

DC's other Brothers Darryl - What no Bob Newheart fans? You remember guys "Hi, I'm Larry, this is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl."

Shit I suck at this

DC's Senators - Say that's kinda catchy. And hey you get to wear a toga !

Right that's all I have. Your mission if you chose to accept is to rescue the honor of Penn State fans everywhere by thinking of something better.

And now for your viewing pleasure Capital Critters

What still no love for the Critters? Well screw you all.

My favorite is the cat that looks like Dan Quayle

Peace Out Yo

Enough Already!

2008-09-04T15:14:00.007-04:00

Alright before we begin you can file this away as the hearsay and the conspiracy theories of a Joe Paterno loyalist if you so choose. And it is very likely that this post will be proved entirely false within a matter of hours if it hasn't been already. But all and all this is something that needs to be said for no other reason than to give a counter point to belief that the Penn State Football Program is out of control.

Ok here's the current situation as I understand it. (Thursday September 6th 1pm )

Police were called to Nittany Apartments around 8 pm on Tuesday for a noise complaint.
The residents of the apartment were AJ Wallace, Andrew Quarless, Maurice Evans and Abe Koroma.
When police arrived, they noticed the smell of pot smoke, and asked to enter the apartment.
The residents declined, police called in and received a warrant.
Upon searching the residence police found a "small amount of pot" (no word on the exact amount)

That's about all I know without venturing into the bottomless pit that is sports message boards

So here are my thoughts on this:

Seriously Quarless? If you weren't such a screw-up you would be the #1 tight end in the Big 10 by now (or at least on the depth chart) Lots of players have made stupid mistakes but after getting in trouble they got their shit together. Heck Connor and A.Q. Shipley shot arrows through the wall of their dorm. It seems like this kid just doesn't get it, maybe it's time he transfers out of the Happy Valley.

8 pm Noise Complaint? It's a college campus not a retirement community.

College kids smoke pot, it happens. I mean chances are a bunch of you smoked pot in college. It's illegal but then again so is u-torrent and I didn't hear any complaints when you were all watching The Dark Knight at 3 am after a long night at the bar.

Kids play music loudly and occasionally do really stupid things like smoking pot at an on-campus apartment. Its unfortunate, but to an extent it can be excused as the stupidity of youth. What cannot be excused is the refusal to cooperate with the authorities. Making them get a warrant? Are you serious? These aren't shady evil crooked cops they're good people doing their job. These kids obviously did something wrong and that can be forgiven. Their actions afterward were inexcusable and I support whatever the punishment is appropriate for this.

When I was in school one of my rules was never party with the football team. There were a couple reasons for this.

Because the football team never wanted to party with me
Because I had no chance of getting the girl when she had to choose between me and a linebacker.
Because they're big, scary, and drunk.
Most importantly. Where ever the Football Team was the police were near by. I will be the first to admit (and I think my friends would agree) that if the cops had followed our group closely throughout our stint in the Happy Valley there is at least an outside chance that one of us would have had a run in with the law.But if you are on the football team you know the cops are watching, maybe it would be a good idea to keep illegal activities to a minimum or at least be a little sneaker.

To the jerk sitting in his dorm room that says the players get away with this when he would get kicked out of school. Shut up, no you wouldn't. You would get a slap on the wrist and would have to go to drug classes on Sunday mornings, if you were caught at all. Chances are no one would even notice that you were toking up while watching Sponge Bob in you pathetic little dorm room.

This sounds like a conspiracy theory and I'm not sure I believe it but could their possibly be some pressure by the higher-ups in the University to discredit Paterno by finding these types of behaviors in his Football Program? Not to condone the actions of the players but it seems like there is witch hunt going on. Who called out the dogs? Spanier? The Athletic Department? Powerful Alumni? Local Politicians?

People will undoubtedly use this incident to bolster their case against Coach Paterno. They will claim that he is out of touch with his players. And although I think this is unlikely I will not completely dismiss the possibility. But I would like to point out that the same people making these allegations are the ones that said the game had left the program behind. These people demanded PSU start recruiting faster more talented players with more questionable records, that they accept more junior college transfers, and they let true freshman start. Paterno to one extent or another was opposed to these things but has allowed them to occur more often in recent years. It's not a coincidence that the last 6 years has seen an resurgence of the football program and an increase in off-field incidents.

I could probably say at least a half dozen more things about this incident but I'm sure there's someone else out there that's said everyone of them already. So there's one final thing that needs said before putting this topic to bed.

To all Penn State Players, Coaches, Alumni, and Fans,

Our University has a saying that sets us apart from other programs.

Success with Honor

It means that we strive to be the best but we are not willing to compromise ourselves to do so.
It means that at Penn State we do it the right way
It means that when we say "May no act of mine bring shame to one heart that loves thy name" they are not just hollow words memorized at freshman orientation.

Every Saturday 110,000 people say We Are Penn State in unison. They don't do it because Arrington jumped over the line, or because LJ lit up the Nabraska defense one cold night, or even because Paterno has won more bowl games than most coaches will ever see. No we say We Are Penn State because we saw Pozlezney studying in the Hub every Tuesday, because Hali sat in the same row as us the day we graduated, because on our campus the football stadium is named after a Governor and the Library is named after a Football Coach.

We are Penn State. We don't just win. We win the right way

Maybe we have been a little to caught up on the Success side of that in recent years.
Here's a question for you, think about it and answer honestly.
Would you give up a National Championship Season to have a program that lives up to those ideals? That's what I thought.

Peace Out Yo

We Are...

It's Science!

2008-09-03T23:13:00.005-04:00

When you were kid and your parents made you watch educational programming on TV did you ever imagine that there was a post-apocalyptic world along the lines of The Postman or Mad Max where warring factions led by Bill Nye the Science Guy and Beakman from Beakman's World would duke it out to determine who would lead the remnants of the human race forward into a new age of science and innovation?

Yeah me neither.

Just one more reason why I should buy a digital camcorder; peace out yo

Fight On!

2008-08-30T09:28:00.006-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen our long National Nightmare is at an end (namely no sports but the Pirates since June) .

Welcome to the promised land that we call football season!
12:00 PSU vs. Some Joke
JoPa will tie that Scoundrel Coach of the Criminoles with 373 wins today

Good Luck DC

peace out yo

2008-08-28T23:48:00.003-04:00

Our answer is the world's hope; it is to rely on youth. The cruelties and the obstacles of this swiftly changing planet will not yield to obsolete dogmas and outworn slogans. It cannot be moved by those who cling to a present which is already dying, who prefer the illusion of security to the excitement and danger which comes with even the most peaceful progress. This world demands the qualities of youth: not a time of life but a state of mind, a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination, a predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over the love of ease.

Robert Kennedy University of Capetown, South Africa June 6, 1966

It's funny how true that still is.

Proudfoot Classics: Mocked By Wendell Young!

2008-08-25T01:13:00.004-04:00

It's the end of August, nothing happens at the end of August. It sees to me that everyone on the internet is just mailing it in for a week or two and I'm not about to be the exception. Here's a little nugget of joy from March of 2005

So I went down to the Civic aka Mellon Arena on Tuesday to watch The Penguins Cup, the high school hockey championship. There was a rumor that some of the old Penguins would be there signing autographs so I brought a few pucks along with the hope of getting them singed by Ken Wregget or my favorite former crackhead Kevin Stevens. Well I guess most of the big names stayed home because all the star power the pens could muster for this little shindig was Peter Taglinetti and Wendell Young. Now for those of you who are a little hazy about the Penguins roster from over a decade ago Wendell Young was a backup/ third string goaltender on the Stanley Cup teams. He even played a few games on one of the many occasions when Borasso was injured. Well anyway, I guess Wendell had the night off from Burger King so Mario paid him a few bucks to sit at a table and sign Xeroxed photos of himself for people who didn't know who the hell he was. Being the complete dork I am, I did know who the hell Wendell Young was and decided to get a puck signed.

Well I walked up to Wendell who was sitting at a table looking very lonely. As I started to hand him a puck someone bumped into my arm and the puck flew into the air. For an excruciatingly long moment I fumbled with it before it clattered to the ground with a rubbery thud. I immediately retrieved my "puck-of-shame" from beneath the table and handed it to Wendell, he looked up at me and said "With reflexes like that I bet you never played goalie". For a split second I felt like I had been vanquished, then I realized I was talking to Wendell Freaken Young and responded "Well it never stopped you".

A few weeks ago I wrote about Philosophers, well i looked into what you need to do to become a philosopher. Here's what I found at www.princetonreview.com.....

You can become a philosopher simply by deciding to call yourself one. If thinking about life is practicing philosophy, who's to say that you have to be paid by a university to do it? Henry David Thoreau retreated from his fellow human beings, built a cabin at Walden Pond, and wrote books of philosophy. It helps to get published, of course, but you don't necessarily have to care whether other people follow and study your philosophy.

If this teaching thing doesn't work out I think I may have found another possible profession!

peace out yo

Wow That's Screwed Up

2008-08-17T14:08:00.000-04:00

Jeez, who thought is was a good idea?

Ladies and Gentlemen meet the Spanish Basketball Team

Wikipedia has this to say about them..

" The Spain national basketball team is the basketball team representing Spain in international competitions. As of June, 2008 they are the reigning World Champions and third in the FIBA World Rankings for men^[1]."

The Chinese Wikipedia has this to say about them
( Nittanyproudfoot International Devision Translation)

" A Bunch of Xenophobic assholes that will be first up against the wall when the Peoples Glorious Revolution occurs. All Hail the Fearless Leader!"

Somewhere out there Prince Phillip of England is celebrating that he is no longer the most hated European in Asia

Prince Phillip to British Students studying in China 1986

"If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed."

Ah Yes ! Now that is some British Empire sized racism. Here's some of his greatest hits.

To a Briton in Budapest

“You can’t have been here that long - you haven’t got a pot belly.”

To a driving instructor in Scotland

“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”

To a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea

“You managed not to get eaten, then?”

To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes

“You look like you’re ready for bed!”

So the moral of the story is Spanish racism is mean and hurtful, they're going to be in big trouble when our glorious overlords in Beijing take over. British Royal racism is just too darn cute to make anyone mad. The Sun never sets on that cuddly cultural bias.

Oh and if the leaders of the Peoples Republic are reading this I'd make a great Minister of Information. I never let the facts get in the way of a good story

peace out yo

Too Soon?

2008-08-15T14:31:00.000-04:00

Q) How many Georgian soldiers does it take to screw in an Iraqi light bulb?

A) Hey! Wait! Where are you guys going??

But seriously folks don't get too concerned about the current political climate. Allow me to let you in on a little secret.

Doomsday Clock Ticking away
War in Afghanistan
Tensions building with the Russians

Don't you see this isn't a world coming apart at the seams. It's just the latest viral marketing campaign for the movie The Watchmen!

quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

peace out yo

Happy Arena Day

2008-08-14T13:53:00.004-04:00

Some guys wearing suits and plastic hats played in a pile of mulch today.

And this means that in 2 years there may be enough seats that I'll get to see more hockey games in person. Sweet

This has nothing to do with that but it's kinda funny,

Happy Arena Day Folks
peace out yo

Celeberty Hockey Signings Part 5

2008-08-12T13:19:00.000-04:00

Larry "Little Ball of Hate" King had a long and storied NHL career before making the move to the news desk. Also known as "the Hunchbacked Howe" and the "Suspendered Sniper" King was one of the few marketable players on some abysmal Capitals teams. Playing well into his 60's King was long known as the second most hideous creature in the NHL (behind that hatchet face Chelios) but the new era of the NHL brought competition in the form of a new Capitals star that may have been born in a flaming dumpster just a few blocks down the street from Chernobyl. Seeing that his time had passed King retired from the sport to concentrate on the other loves of his life, bad posture, marrying and divorcing lots of hot women that are way out of his league. And his one true passion

Being really really old while looking like this monkey

Mission Accomplished Larry, Mission Accomplished

peace out yo

2008-08-10T14:34:00.000-04:00

Which defunct NHL Franchise would you like to see return to the league? ( surveys)

Eco-Pedal vs The Asian Sensation

2008-08-08T14:19:00.004-04:00

So Nissan may have come up with the worst idea ever

"Eco Pedal." This new technology calculates the most fuel efficient rate of acceleration and then fights back against the driver's foot when it feels that rate has been exceeded. Nissan claims that the system can improve fuel efficiency by as much as 10 percent, which is why they plan on implementing it into their cars next year."

Well fortunately for you good people we here at the Nittanyproudfoot have designed a new device to counteract this abomination of automotive technology perpetrated by Nissan.

Ladies and Gentlemen Meet......

The Lenny Pedal

"So you made the mistake of buying a Nessian with dastardly device the Eco-Pedal and now your leg's sore from trying to speed against the wishes of your tree-hugging hippy-mobile. Maybe you're saying to yourself, "you know what it just isn't worth breaking traffic laws anymore"

Don't give up now friends help is on the way in the for of the Lenny Pedal ! (TM Nittanyproudfoot 2009)

While the Eco-Pedal may make it more difficult to put the pedal to the metal the Lenny Pedal will give you the encouragement you need. Anytime the car is in gear and traveling below the speed limit a voice playing through car audio system will announce.....

If you were a real man you'd go faster you Japansie!

If the Angry Asian voice challenging your manhood doesn't give you the drive to mash that pedal and kick it up to 88 you might as well just buy your self a Saturn and start listening to light rock

The Lenny Pedal available anywhere Nittanyproudfoot Brand automotive products are sold!

peace out yo; heeeeeeeeeeee!

Celeberty Hockey Signings Part 4

2008-08-06T19:36:00.001-04:00

It was June of 1980 and the Chicago Blackhawks once again found themselves drafting high in the National Hockey Leagues Annual Amature Entry Draft. It was an off-year for the draft, due to a clerical error most of the players that declared for entry that year were actual drafted into the Nairnshire Highlands-Games League and spent the rest of their career in the Highlands of Scotland wearing kilts and competing in events like the Caber Toss, Stone Put, and the ever popular Weight Over The Bar. This led to what was known as the "Darhn Guud Playeeerrr" Era of the Highland Games but left NHL teams desperately searching for new talents to fill out their rosters. With few options NHL GMs turned to anyone with an athletic pedigree . The LA Kings drafted Sugar Ray Leonard, Pittsburgh picked up home town icon Arnold Palmer, and the Montreal Canadians tried unsuccessfully to lure Kareem Abdul-Jabbar away from the Los Angeles Lakers .

With time running out on their pick and all but the most nonathletic sports stars ( baseball players and NASCAR drivers) left on the board Blackhawks management made their decision. Blackhawks owner William "Dollar Bill" Wirtz wrote one word on a sheet of paper then sent a page boy to the podium. The NHL commissioner stepped to the microphone and announced the pick......

"With the fourth overall pick in the 1980 entry draft the Chicago Blackhawks select, Chicago native James Belushi"

It was at this point that Wirtz leaped on to the Blackhawks team table threw his hat down and began jumping up and down on it while cursing like a 19th century gold miner in the Yukon . Wirtz was escorted into a private side room were he was heard yelling " What do you mean this is the brother?! I wanted the Cheeseburger-Cheeseburger guy, the one that was in Animal House, you know the big guy that did cartwheels!"

And thus began a long string of mistaken draft picks by the Blackhawks. Alain and Claude instead of Mario Lemieux, Randy instead of Luc Robitaille, and Wayne instead of Keith Primeau. The Blackhawks curse was finally broken in 2001 when they selected "the Ruutu that scores goals" over "the Ruutu that gets punched in the face a lot".
To this day the drafting of Jim Belushi in the 1980 Draft is considered the second biggest draft mistake in franchise history behind the 1988 draft when the Hawks selected Jeremy Roenick instead of trading the pick for three spools of hockey tape and all the change in the left pocket of the Vancouver Canucks GM.

peace out yo

Celeberty Hockey Signings Part 3

2008-08-04T20:43:00.000-04:00

When Ralph Macchio was drafted in the 2nd Round, 22nd overall by the New York Islanders in the 1974 NHL Entry Draft nobody expected very much form the the young scrapper out of the San Fernando Valley. He had come to notoriety a few years earlier when he brought down the infamous Cobra Kai karate dojo. Soon offers were pouring in from all over the Minor Leagues. he signed a lucrative deal with Laval QMJHL that would allow him to live comfortably until he could apply for the draft in the spring of '74. Macchio put up good numbers in the minors and though scouting services never considered him to be a scoring threat on the NHL level there was still a buzz when he remained on the board late in the second round.

After being selected by the Islanders The Karate Kid returned Laval for his final year of minor league eligibility. It was during this final year that the kid's hockey career fell apart. During a late season game against league powerhouse the Val-d'Or Foreurs Macchio was tapped by his coach to take on the Foreurs heavyweight after an unsportsmanlike hit on Laval's star player. Macchio was obviously out matched and 15 seconds into the bout was curled up in ball taking the beating of his life. It was about this time that a small Japanese man began yelling from the stands. Immediately the Kid was on his feet and fighting for his life. Then it happened the single most shocking moment in sports. In a moment of fear the kid reverted back to his martial arts training and kicked his opponent in the face horribly disfiguring him. Macchio was give a one year suspension, and his opponent a young player named Chris Chelios was damed to a life as the most hideous creature in hockey.

As the 1976 pre-season began Macchio prepared for his return to the world of professional sport. The Islanders desperate for body's to fill out their roster agreed to give the kid a tryout contract as long as he was willing change his name and appearance to lessen the chances of retribution for the Chelios incident. Macchio agreed to the stipulations changing his name to Brian Trottier and growing a giant mustache. Over the next 18 years Macchio won 4 Stanley Cups with the Islanders, Penguins, and Avalanche.

Hockey Season is Only Two Months Away,

Hang in there Kitty hockey will be back soon!

Peace Out Yo

Escape from FLA

2008-08-03T14:42:00.006-04:00

So we're coming up on the four year anniversary of the NHL Lockout an event that was at the same time one of the most important and unfortunate in League history. The post lockout world is one were a franchise city doesn't necessarily need to be enormous to sustain a quality team; something that was a fact of life in the Pre-Lockout NHL (Just ask the fans in Quebec, Hartford, and Winnipeg)

So with no way to sustain their franchises in old hockey hotbeds owners were left with no choice but to relocate to Sunbelt cities with growing populations and shinny new arenas. At the time this seemed like a great solution, expand into new markets, grow the game, have teams in places were lots of people live. These intentions were all well and good the only problem was that people in these new cities were too busy touching themselves while watching cars drive around in a circle for hours on end to appreciate a real sport.

Now as a Penguins fan I understand just how horrible it is to fear that your favorite team could just pick up and leave. But lets be honest these are the places that are least capable of maintaining a quality franchise, not because of lack of capital or facilities but because quit simply people there just don't care. For any one of these teams to grow a fan base they'd have to win immediately and even that wasn't always enough.

So here's the question:

Which Current NHL franchise should be moved to a city with more passion for the sport?

Celebrity Hockey Signings Part 2

2008-08-02T15:00:00.000-04:00

Angus "Mac"MacGyver the secret identity of marginal actor Richard Dean Anderson played the better part of 4 seasons with the Edmonton Oilers. Often paired with future Hall of Fame Winger Jari Kurri; MacGyver's greatest moment came when he won the 1985 Stanly Cup against the Philadelphia Flyers. With time winding down the Oilers found themselves behind with star players Gretzky, Messier, and Coffey all out of the game with injures. Using only old hockey equipment and his trusty pocket knife Mac was able to build a robotic Keanu Reeves to center the Oilers top line. When goalie Grant Fuhr credited this act as the deciding factor in the game Angus was quick to point out that he got the idea from a documentary he had watched the night before called Bill and Teds Bogus Journey.

peace out yo

Celebrity Hockey Signings Part 1

2008-07-29T14:35:00.000-04:00

So with the almost eminent signing of Brett Favre to the Iowa Chops of the American Hockey League we here at The Nittanyproudfoot have gone through the Archives and pulled up some photos of other celebrities that strapped on a pair of skates and played our favorite game.

Marv Albert played 5 seasons with the New York Rangers. But was traded to the NBA for the signing rights to Manute Bol in 1994 after lewd photos of himself, Mark Messier, and Gary Colman appeared in the tabloids.

Albert has since retired from the world of sports and now spends his free time stalking Emmanuel Lewis

this is what happens to the mind of a hockey fan in the middle of summer

till next time peace out yo

Brett Favre is the Brett Favre of Hockey

2008-07-27T13:32:00.001-04:00

So the NFL may be willing to throw away a slightly used All-World player but that's just not our style in the sport of hockey. Yesterday's Superstar Power Forward is tomorrow's Back-checking Grinder/Healthy Scratch. You want to play hockey till your 50? We say go for it. If you don't mind a trip back to the minors you can play forever ( as I write this John Leclair is playing for a Junior High School team in Eastern New Jersey)

So if the NFL won't let Brett Favre play the AHL sure as hell will. Yesterday Steve Nitzel President of the Iowa Chops of the American Hockey League sent an official contract offer to Brett Favre’s agent, James ‘Bus’ Cook Jr. In the accompanying press release Nitzel had this to say about this potential high profile free agent signing;

“We live in a beautiful, Midwestern city here in Des Moines and play in a state-of-the-art major league venue at Wells Fargo Arena, so that meets Brett’s criteria of places to play,” ...“We wanted to be the first team to offer him something new and challenging, and I believe he will enjoy the thrill of raising the Calder Cup just as much as he did the Vince Lombardi Trophy back in 1997.”

“All we have to do is sharpen his skating skills and after that, his athletic instincts will take over and he’ll be one heck of a hockey player.”

Well think of it this way he can't be any worse of a hockey player than Jordan was a Baseball player. I for one think it's only a matter of time before this deal goes through, in fact I think I'm going to order my number 4 Chops jersey tomorrow this is a sure thing in my book.

peace out yo

Ovechkin!

2008-07-25T17:30:00.003-04:00

First he messes with Sid's room service now he's trying to steal the top secret blue prints to the Segway. How is America supposed to lead the world lazyness-technology with industrial espionage like this taking place? I told you that big goofy commie couldn't be trusted.

For the love of Stalin and Mother Russia someone put hockey on TV before I go off the deep end

peace out yo

200,000 Germans and 30 Helens agree

2008-07-24T16:22:00.003-04:00

It really doesn't matter were your political allegiances lay. This is what you want out of a commander in chief. If this doesn't make you think that there is at least the slightest chance life could get better in this world you might as well hand in your membership card to the human race.

peace out yo

Wilford Brimley vs Mickey Rooney: 10 Rounds No Holds Barred

2008-07-23T12:24:00.014-04:00

What say we do a little updating?
After all whats a month between friends?

I call this travesty of the written word...

Stuff I Like.... Stuff I Hate

Stuff I Hate:

I love the Tour de France. Which makes me one of 7 people in the continental US. I'm one of those poor jerks that started watching when Lance Armstrong was busy pissing off all of mainland Europe by completely owning one of their most treasured sporting events. I mean those people were seriously pissed that an American especially a Texan could dominate France's pride and joy for such a long period of time. And how funny was it to find out that he was the only one out of the entire batch that wasn't popping steroids like Pezz. Anyway what with the retirement of Armstrong and the banishment of some of the biggest names in the sport for doping the sport has certainly taken a back seat. Given the choice between advertising for one of only two major sporting competitions they have the right to air on their television station V.S has opted to spend the month of June removing their extra ear wax with a golf pencil instead. Honestly how many of you even knew the tour was going on, let alone some guy fell off the side of a mountain yesterday?

Stuff I Like

A week or two ago Comcast finally got around to rearranging their channels and out of the goodness of their hart they saw fit to give V.S a spot next to the other major sports channels. A spot next to ESPN can only mean good things for the NHL that sold its soul to the Bull Riding Network. After all when any ardent sports fan is given the choice between the World Series of Poker and a live sporting event featuring some of the most exciting young athletes in the world there is at least an outside chance that the NHL may be able to steal a few ratings points from the world wide leader in sports.

Stuff I Like

It was good to see the state senate put a little more effort into cleaning out some of the sidcars before passing the budget. When anything passes unanimously on the first try you know someone other than John Q Public is reaping the benefits. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that our current batch of State Reps are the most virtuous bunch but I do think they have a certain amount of fear of the public because of the backlash after the Midnight Raise Fiasco. Ah yes the power of the vote, I'm sure the public will stop paying attention sooner rather than later (if they haven't already) but a little transparency and a little fear in the minds of the government is always a good thing.

Stuff I Hate

Like I said transparency is a good thing. The problem is transparency isn't a terribly interesting thing. Take a time out from reading this post and turn on C-SPAN, go ahead the post will be waiting when you get back, just go spend a half hour watching the House floor debate. See you in Thirty minutes....................................................................... So how was you nap? Did you learn anything about your government? Yea I didn't think so. I'm pretty sure the government purposely makes their proceedings as boring as possible so the rest of us will fall asleep and they can do what ever the hell they want. It's kinda like not pulling out the good hooch until you drank the youngsters under the table using the bottom shelf booze. One of the few times I'll watch PCN (Pennsylvania CSPAN) is early July when they do the Gettysburg Battlefield Tours, their seriously like History Teacher Crack. July 1-2-3 of every year I sit on the couch for hours on end listening to Park Rangers in funny hats talk out the potential flanking maneuver of the Army's First Corps.

Ok I'll make you a deal; why don't you go take another nap and I'll just think about history stuff for the next half hour. Lets meet back here in say 35-40 minutes and we'll finish this train wreck.................................................................

And were back. So I'm watching the historical version of Crystal Meth when suddenly the State Budget Talks the historical equivalent of Diethyl Ether bust in and completely destroys the first week of July for me. I know as a History teacher I should care but I'm giving serious thought to moving to the home district of the douche the kept on holding up the final vote just so I can vote his ass out.

I give up. How about we just phone it in for the rest of the post eh?

Stuff I Like

The Dark Knight -Wanna see a magic trick? nuff said

Winter Classic in Chicago- Screw the Rangers and Yankee Stadium. I can't wait for this game. The Blackhawks are a young team with some amazing talents and it's only a matter of time before they start beating the hell out of the Red Wings. Here's hoping it starts on January 1st

Artsfest- Always an amazing time, maybe some day I'll actually look at the art.

Penguins Re-Signings- Kudos to Shero. Fleury, Malkin, Orpik all amazing signings the rest of the gang were expendable. Think about our roster now and a year ago which one is better?

The Camping Trip- Awesome, every human being should be required to spend a weekend a month out in the woods with the cell phone off acting completely uncivilized

Steeler Camp- Thank god they'll be sports on TV again

Stuff I Hate

Penguins Free Agent Signings-
Satan = Overachieving Ryan Malone
Fedetinko = Underachieving Ryan Malone
Godard = Healthy Scratch
Pesonen = St Louis or Alexandre Daigle?
Cooke- Not necessary a replacement for Rutuu but you can't go wrong with a nickname like CookieMonster

Hossa One Year Deal-
Searously What the hell? God I hope that team tanks.

Baseball Season-
Could they just do the Home Run Derby and skip the rest of the season?

The Green Bay Packers-
Just let Brett play wherever the hell he wants

The Casino-
This is why the Mafia should build all Casinos. Why didn't we let Rendell pick the winner? He's got connections.

Ok I give up, something new coming soon.

Peace Out Yo

Proudfoot Classics: What should I Do If The Internet Goes Down?

2008-06-26T00:53:00.004-04:00

The Following Post was written back in the Fall of 2005, that magical time when MRob was the Quaterback, Lenny was a Banana, and Velveeta played Nickle Nite at the Crowbar...ah yes the Golden Age of Civilization. Enjoy Kiddies......

Prepare to be informed
Every year we grow more and more dependent on the Internet. But would you know what to do if your connection suddenly went down? Internet failure down No one knows when the Internet will fail. It could happen at any time, leaving you bereft of your e-mail, your sports scores, and your Blogs. Therefore, it's important that you and your family have a contingency plan for just such an emergency. If your connection to Cyberspace were to ever get severed, you should at least be prepared. We have included a few key points that should assist you if that were to happen.
1. Panic! An excited, agitated state will give you that heightened sense of awareness and will increase your thought processes allowing you to come up with rational solutions. Panic is just nature's way of putting your body into over-drive. It's a defense mechanism that gives you an edge when dealing with potentially harmful situations, such as a severed arm or the loss of your Internet.

2. Find A Telephone Do you have access to a telephone line? Early computers connected to the Internet using a dial-up device along with a hardware device known as a "modem." Since this technology is obsolete, it will be of no use to you. Instead, use your telephone to call your friends to see if their connection is also down, as you will have lost the ability to send an email or an instant message. You can also use a telephone to call 911, an emergency service that will first tell you to calm down, and then will send out specially-trained technicians to find the source of the Internet's failure.

3. Use Your Back-Up Computer It's always good to have an emergency laptop handy, in case you need to hurry over to a buddy's place where the Net is still up. If there is still no Internet at that location, at the very least you could connect to a small network or LAN (Less-than Adequate Network). Laptops can also be placed on tables at coffeeshops, while you sit around with a latte, nervously waiting for your connection to be restored.

4. Install A Game In emergency situations, installing a single-player computer game can occupy your down-time. While it won't replace the adrenaline rush of intense networked multiplayer action provided by the Internet, a quick game of Sim City or Flight Simulator may distract you long enough for your connection to return.

5. Perform Routine Maintenance While programs such as Norton Antivirus have removed most of the tedium of computer system maintenance, nothing could help pass the time faster than cleaning out your hard drive, emptying your cache, or organizing your celebrity fake porn collection. Take the time to stare at your screen while you perform a defragmentation. The time will literally fly while you barely notice your separation from the Internet.

6. Turn On A Television Or Radio Televisions, strange boxes that sit in your parents' living rooms, were once used to provide entertainment, long before DVDs and Playstations were invented. Televisions have the capability of broadcasting streaming information similar to the content on multimedia websites. With a "remote control," a wireless device that is like a small one-handed keyboard, you may be able to surf a limited number of "channels," while you deal with the loss of your connection. Unfortunately, television is only a one-way media. In ancient times, radios were also used to entertain. A radio allowed you to listen to news, sports, and music, much the same way that you listen to live streaming audio on a Shoutcast server. Like the television, a radio will only have a limited selection of listening stations, and no video. Hopefully your separation from the Internet will be brief.

7. Read People in pre-Internet times used to read "books" and "magazines", written materials once created in printable format to pass the time. Some e-books are still available on paper, and may offer a short-term solution until your power is back and your broadband is restored. If reading is not an option, as a last resort, you may wish to try doing "chores," or try your hand at cooking. While these activities cannot replace the Internet, they may be able to make the down-time a little more tolerable.

8. Go Outside The idea of leaving your workstation may seem a little extreme, but you can perform errands that you normally get parents or spouses to do: grocery shopping, dry cleaning, etc. Leaving your dorm room, basement, or above-garage apartment suite, may be risky, but again, the time may afford an effective distraction from your Internet woes. NOTE: Be careful to avoid the sun, because your pasty white skin will not be used to the exposure.

9. Spend Time With Your Spouse Communicating with your wife or girlfriend may seem like a radical suggestion, but the time investment may offer long-term rewards. Spending any amount of time talking about your "relationship" may free up more Internet time for you later on, when your ADSL or Cable link to the World Wide Web has been restored. WARNING: These will probably be the longest hours of your life.

10. Use Your Emergency AOL Disk If you find that your connection to the Internet is going to be longer than you can possibly stand, as a last resort, pull out an emergency AOL CD, the one with 910 free hours of connection to the AOL service. Take the CD in one hand...and slash it across your wrist! Suicide will probably be a better alternative than connecting to that service.

Hopefully some of these Internet alternatives will be able to assist you during an offline crisis. Emergency radio broadcasts will likely advise you of the state of the Internet and be able to predict when your bandwidth will be restored, but remember to have an emergency plan in case your digital detachment is longer than you expect

Peace out yo

My Tale of Two Cities

2008-06-25T23:27:00.003-04:00

So this was supposed to be a post-Pennsylvania Primary rant but two months and about a half dozen edits later it has taken on a life of its own.

I swear if you think this is depressing (all be it hilarious) you should have see what I originally wrote here. I would have been required to send out individual servings of Prozac with each internet hit, as opposed to now when I only occasionally pass out mind alternating substances via the internet (stay tuned boys and girls its only a few short weeks till the Nittanyproudfoot's 15th Annual Black Tar Heroin Day!)

So with out further adieu I give you what should have been the obligatory post-election rant (now would be a good time to cue some sweet entrance music I'm thinking Muse: Knights of Cydonia)........

For years I have read a website written by a man in the Mon Valley, in fact I think that his father or some other close relative was my seventh grade math teacher (sorry Mr. T, Algebra still makes my head a little fuzzy) This website (link in the side bar) spends a lot of time analyzing a topic that has become very near and dear to my heart; the image and conditions of Western Pennsylvania. Seeing as I was born here, raised here, and have intentions or at least aspirations of living here I would like to see conditions improve. The area has a bad rep and in many instances it is not entirely deserved.

There was a lot of media attention on the area in the week leading up to the election. There were even mentions of the 'port in The New York Times (motto: Read Us If You Want to Hook Up With College Girls Rocking the Sexy Librarian Look and Are Members of the Young Democrats) and The Guardian (motto: Dear America, There Are Other Bloody Countries You Know; And Stop Making Fun of My British Accent!)

For the most part the images they presented were less than complimentary but certainly not anything new. Apparently since I live in the Pittsburgh region I should be a laid-off factory worker with only a High School education and only a weak grasp on the English language. Now I don't know about you dear readers but I have yet to stop by the local tavern for a shot and a beer after a long shift at the blast furnace that I guess I should be working at. The closest thing I can think of is skipping class on a Thursday morning to drink carbombs.

Seriously, this is what a Native American must have felt like watching a 1950's Western or how the Sasquatch community felt like after the release of Harry and the Henderson's (Jon Lithgow is still a marked man is some militant Yeti circles)

Bigfoot Says......

"Jon Lithgow is a racist jerk. I laughed when he died at the end of Cliffhanger. Oh Yea and Third Rock From the Sun really wasn't that funny. Hey John, Coneheads called they want their idea back".

Think about it , the town is even type cast by the sports media. They're still using that old stock footage of molten steel along with the live view from the Incline (it goes up a hill big whoop) and someone making a Pirmanit sandwich. Pittsburgh teams are always "blue collar" just like their loyal fans. News flash guys, 2 out of the last 3 major sports teams to win major championships have been high flying hockey teams where defense took a back seat to talent and scoring. Mario doesn't drink Iron City, and wasn't too keen on playing defense, just ask Ron Francis who had to clean up after him and Jagr.

I think what upsets me more than the stereotype is how readily locals live down to them. Maybe we should spend a little less time trying to convince the rest of the of the world that our city doesn't look like Mordor with Mullets and spend a little more time acting up to the image we're trying to create. I mean we see all the hype for a new hip techno savvy Burgh but apart from shopping malls and industrial parks on old industrial brown sites where the proof? I moved back to this area 6 months ago and from what I've seen its only a matter of time before we get our own themed area at a Disney park.

Hey Kids Welcome to Pittsburgh World!

Grab your toy babushkas and hard hats and take a tour....

Straight ahead is Mon Valley Street USA, lets go to the gift shop! you can tell which one it is because its the only establishment occupying a store front that isn't a Dollar Store of an Illegal Poker Machine Parlor. Wow Weee! Look at all those soaped up windows it's like we're really there.

Up ahead just past the Fifth and Forbes Food Court is The Hall of Democratically Elected Officials! Hey Big Apple you can brag about machine politics all you want but guess what? Boss Tweed got caught. Pittsburgh 250 years of corruption and going strong! Make sure you you visit the park during April when all visitors can vote in the most important election of the year to determine which Democrat will run unopposed in November.

And if you enjoyed that you're going to love our newest addition to the park. Port Authority's Wild Ride! Hop in our State of the Art car designed to look like a Tunnel Boring Machine and travel half way underneath a scale model of the 3 Rivers. Come back in 15 years when you can actually connect to the next ride. Pirates of the Monongahela a delightful little animitronic voyage that always ends with fireworks, a bobblehead, and the feeling that those weren't real baseball players that you just saw only puppets wearing nifty uniforms. Arrgh matey set sail for the bottom of the standings!

Folks I have some bad news PAT (that is... Pittsburgh-land Adventure Trolley) service between Mon Valley Street USA and the rest of the park has been shut down to help pay for Port Authority's Wild Ride. But don't worry kiddies all this fun is just a rusted out T-Bird drive away. After all you wouldn't want to miss our next ride of the day. The Poverty Neck Hillbilly's Country Jamboree; watch as they mix the stereotypes of down-on-their-luck factory workers with country bumpkins to hilarious results! It's like the Dear Hunter and Deliverance all rolled into one!

Alright folks if you'll just follow me well wrap up our tour in Tomorrow-of- Allegheny-County-Land.

Ring..... Ring...... Ring

Hang on Gang, I'm getting a call from the parks office.........

(yes.....yes.... we were just finishing up......oh I see...ok thanks jimmy)

Hey folks I've got some more bad news. Apparently the bridge to Tomorrow-of-Allegheny-County-World just collapsed, we're going to have to wait for that sweet skeeball revenue to come in before we get it repaired. I guess you are just going to have to do a little imagineering to figure out how we get from here to the high tech metropolis waiting on the other shore.

Thanks and enjoy the rest of your day here at Pittsburgh Land, The Rust Belts Finniest Traditional Amusement Park.

Maybe this is just the elitist ramblings of some jerk that went away to school and came back filled with a little too much hot air. But if that's the case why am I still here? Face it Pittsburgh it's time to stop playing in the Amusement Park and actually fix this city.

Oh by the way can I suggest we start by tearing down Oakland?
Just a thought.

Peace out yo

The Nittanyproudfoot Summer Music Preview: Brought to You by the International Coiled Metal Alliance

2008-06-14T21:37:00.000-04:00

Since I'm finishing my current job on Sunday and have no intentions of starting a new one for at least a week and a half I figured selling advertisement time for the annual Nittanypoudfoot Summer Music Preview would be a hell of a way to keep me in lime flavored gin and tonic water for a few weeks. So after an exhaustive search we here at the Nittanyproudfoot have found a cause that we are proud to endorse.

Ladies and Gentlemen the Nittanyproudfoot Summer Music Preview will begin after the following commercial brought to you by the good people of the International Coiled Metal Alliance

Not only are we here at the Nittanyproudfoot proud to be associated this fine cause, we are pleased to announce the start of Coiled Metal Awareness Month

Folks Welcome to the Summer of the Spring!

The International Coiled Metal Alliance: Nittanyproudfoot Summer Music Preview

One of the great parts of Summer is being poolside with burgers on the grill and some good music in the background. There nothing I love more a summer party winding down in the small hours of the morning with a solid playlist that's just loud enough to annoy your douchebag grad student neighbors without getting the authorities involved.

There are some things that are always welcome in a summer playlist; ska and reggae get more of a starting role than those midwinter parties and you are required by law to have the obligatory Sublime and Oasis singalongs. Throw in whatever that summers musical fad may be ( personally I was a big fan of Jay-zeezer on the 1-3-4 porch) and your mix is nearly finished.
So with the start of another summer here's a couple new(er) additions to the MP3 player to help you put that playlist over the top. I'm too lazy to write a decent review for each album so just check out the videos, look up some of the other songs, and pretend like I actually put the work I should have into this post.

The Red Album - Weezer

Here We Stand - The Fratellis

The Age Of The Understatement- The Last Shadow Puppets

Konk- The Kooks

Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend

That's all I've got for now. You should seriously check out these bands there is some uber-good music here. And if you want a legitimate music reviews head over to Just Like Sunny Day Real Estate. Those fine folks do a much better job than this joke of a website. Alright I've had enough of this travesty of a post I'm heading to the pool

peace out yo

one angry man

2008-06-10T21:50:00.005-04:00

Today I spent my day off work taking part in the ultimate inconvenience of our American Constitution. Our Founding Fathers for some reason had the crazy idea that we all have the right to a trial by an impartial jury of our peers (apparently gun toting cokeheads that like to stab people for the hell of it are our peers) I spent 8 hours sitting in a room counting the fat rolls on the back of the neck of the gentlemen sitting in front of me. For completing this great patriotic task I was paid $12.37 and given one coupon for 50% off at a number of fine Pittsburgh eateries(woooooo! $2.50 footlong sub! eat fresh and cheap!). Upon completing my civic duty and returning home someone ask if I had learned anything about our great judicial system. And as a matter of fact I did.

Never again will I believe anything I see in a Pauly Shore movie. Jury Duty is not fun, you don't get a lovable k9 sidekick and you defiantly don't get to hook up with that hot Asian chick from Wayne's World at the end of the day As of this moment I'm canceling my reservations to the Bio-Dome and I'm throwing out the caveman thawing in my garage.

hey pauly.....your a fraud budddddeeeeeee

peace out yo

2008-06-05T00:00:00.003-04:00

There are 30 teams in the NHL only one goes home happy.

Tonight the long road to the Stanley Cup came to an end. Tomorrow the temperature will be almost 90 but somewhere in Western Pennsylvania a group of kids will congregate in a parking lot. They'll bring their mylec pads, their overpriced composite sticks, the jerseys their idols and they will play the game they love.

That is the passion of hockey player. A pure love of the game that makes a person shovel a foot of snow off of a pond just to play a 2 hour pick up game It makes a normally sane person put on 20 lbs of sweaty goalie equipment when the rest of the world is cowering with their central air.

For the first time in my life I saw a professional team play with the same passion and love as the kids in the parking lot.

You may be able beat a team like that in a series but they'll only come back stronger the next time.

Tonight it hurts...But tomorrow is Going to be a Great Day for Hockey

Fight on Pens

2008-06-04T14:33:00.002-04:00

Big Game Tonight; Why don't we lighten the mood eh?

Hall Gill

Mic'd Up With the Flower

Gary Roberts Interview

Mic'd Up With Jarkko Ruutu

It's a Great Day for Hockey

So You Want to Be a Hockey Fan?

2008-06-02T13:24:00.005-04:00

So you decided to be a hockey fan? You got yourself a powder blue t-shirt and memorized the names of the players on the third line. You even went as far as to put a "Gary Roberts for President" sign in your cubicle at work. We'll it's time to show your mettle. You're a hockey fan? Prove it.

Fans are not made during 16 game winning streaks or during the grand spectacle of an outdoor game. You can watch the games during the great moments and championship but you won't be a fan until you've gone to a completely different place with the team. When you've seen Rico Fata used in the promotional literature of your team, when your star goaltender is being pelted with rubber rats in a South Florida rink, when you watch a hated rival destroy you playoffs aspirations in the small hours of the morning on a single shot then your a hockey fan.

I understand that for every kid that sat down on a June night in 1991 fell in love with a team there were others that opted to watch a VHS of Slimer! and the Real Ghostbusters (more on that in the next post) So you want to be a hockey fan?....well here's your chance. The team you claim to cheer for is about to play their biggest game in a decade and a half.

Where are you going to be tonight? Your team is down 3-1 to the powerhouse Detroit Red Wings in the Stanley Cup Finals. The hockey world is watching, the real Penguin fans are watching, we'll see you on the other side if you make the trip.

In the darkest moments of a hockey season its always best to remember the words of Pengins Coach Badger Bod Johnson

Its a Great Day for Hockey

and you know what, it really is

peace out yo

Not The Oilers Mon

2008-05-24T10:38:00.006-04:00

The following was recently sent to Nittanyproudfoot headquarters in beautiful Tube City, Pa. The message come from Nittanyproudfoot Winter Sports annalist Sanka Coffie. Mr Coffie who is currently in training for the World Pushcart Championships will be joining us on a regular basis during the upcoming Winter Olympics in Vancouver but he has asked us to pass this little op-ed piece along before the start of this year's Stanley Cup Finals

Over the last year a lot has been made over the comparison between the 1980's Oilers and the current Pittsburgh Penguins. It hasn't exactly been difficult to do. You have a young teams beating all expectations led by the face of the league (Crosby/ Gretzky) with a second center that is almost as talented as the first ( Malkin/ Messier) both teams feature an outstanding offensive defensemen (Gonchar? Whitney? Letang?/ Coffey) and both have made long miraculous playoff runs very earlier in their careers.

But the Penguins are not the Oilers and the Oilers are not the Penguins the comparison dose not do justice to the work that either team has put in to their Cup run. The Penguins cannot play like the Oilers in the Finals and expect to win.

All I'm saying, mon, is if we walk Penguin, talk Penguin , and *is* Penguin, then we sure as hell better play hockey Penguin.

Experience the Evolution! Feel the rhyme! Get on up, its hockey time! Lord Stanley!

Snaka Coffie Nittanyproudfoot Winter Sports Analyst

Ladies and gentlemen if you are new to the sport of hockey listen to this very carefully. What is about to happen is very rare and very special. You will not see your team in the Finals every year. It doesn't matter if your team is led by Sidney Crosby, Mario Lemieux, Gordie Howe, or Maurice "Rocket" Richard. Its just too hard to survive the Stanly Cup Playoffs. Enjoy the next week for what it is...one of the greatest events in the sporting world. No mater what the experts have said you better watch closely because anything can happen in the Finals.

Its a Great Day for Hockey

Hey Philly...Tee Time's at 8

2008-05-18T17:32:00.003-04:00

Bring on Lord Stanley

Yes Badger it is A Great Day for Hockey

They Feel Happy!

2008-05-15T12:46:00.007-04:00

Breaking News into the Nittayproudfoot World News Headquarters in beautiful Tube City Pa.
With the National Media all but writing off a comeback in the NHL Eastern Conference Finals Coach John Stevens has called a Press Conference on the streets of Philadelphia to assert that his team still retains hope of a Stanley Cup Finals birth.

We now take you live to a city so horrible that Pittisbughers once considered creating a new State rather than be associated with it.
( Motto: Welcome to Westsylvania; We're Not With Those Jagoffs Over There)

Wow Philly looks a lot cleaner than the last time I was there. And its nice to see the Flyers organization pitched in and got RJ Umberger a cart to transport all the dead weight on his team as opposed to last year when he was forced to carry them on his back. Whooooo!

Its a Great Day for Hockey!

Bring it Home Boys Lord Stanley is Calling

Peace Out Yo

'Proudfoot Classics: Of Rodents and CAT Scans

2008-05-13T13:32:00.002-04:00

Here's another Nugget of Joy from our Archives to help you Youngsters get through those last few days of the semester. From way back in December of 2005 we present to you.......

Of Rodents and CAT Scans

It's that very special time of year when you get that warm fuzzy feeling deep down in the pit of your stomach. That's right kiddies it's Finals Time! And that emotion that you’re currently experiencing is a delightful mixture of doubt, far too much cheap coffee, and a healthy helping of impending doom.

This is that magical time of year when my very favorite medical aliment in the whole wide world makes it's presence known. No not the Black Plague, I'm a big fan but they've yet to connect the Black Death to end of the semester testing. I do have my suspicions though, I've met a few professors in my college career that I'm pretty sure were at least distantly related to a plague rat. The horrible illness of which I speak is of course the now legendary WEASEL HEADACHE.

No that's not what happens when you watch Encino-Man and Bio-Dome back to back (I think the correct term for that would be Pauly-Shore-icide buuuuuudy, but you shouldn't be too concerned it's only fatal if you watch Jury Duty along with those two) I'm sure anyone out there who has spent any extended period of time with me has heard of this horrible malady. But once again in the spirit of public health I'll explain it to the rest of you.
The Weasel Headache
The Weasel Headache is a peculiar medical condition that only appears at times of high stress, high caffeine ingestion, and decreased blood-alcohol level. The symptoms are very easy to spot, nervous twitch, diminished eyesight from trying to read six weeks worth of Sociology texts in four hours, thoughts of dropping out of school to get a job selling meat on a stick out of a cart on the side of the road, and last but certainly not least an unbearable pain that has been compared to having a small angry rodent with "sharp pointy teeth" crawl into your cranium and start chewing on your optical nerve. Is there a cure for the Weasel Headache? Well some mythologies say that if a weasel fought a basilisk it would win but end up dying, then again perhaps if you already have a stoat roaming around the inside your head introducing a mythical snake to that environment isn't the best of ideas.

So it is with an ill-tempered varmint taking up residence in my skull that I stop and take one last gasp of freedom before the plunge into finals. I wish you the best of luck in the upcoming week.

peace out yo, and watch out for those weasels

12022 Days 11 Hours and 54 Minutes and Counting Since the Flyers Won a Cup (And We Thought the Pirate Franchise was a Joke)

2008-05-07T11:35:00.007-04:00

The only sporting event I've ever looked forward to more than Pens -Flyers in the Eastern Finals is Penn State -Ohio State 2005, we all know how that ended.

If this series doesn't make you want to punch Ben Franklin in the face you might as well turn in your membership card to the human race because you no longer have a soul.

Lets Go Pens

I Like My Playoffs Like I Like My Chinese Food; With No MSG

2008-04-29T19:41:00.005-04:00

First off I would like to take this opportunity to accept the award for the worst joke in the history of professional hockey.
MSG---Madison Square Garden.....hahahahaha!
(God sometime I hate myself)

Anyway I didn't write this post to make witty jokes about funny arena names if I wanted to do that this would be about the 95KGGO Arena in Urbandale, Iowa . No this post is a formal accusation of fraud against the New York Rangers.

In a sick attempt to create a new generation super-hockey-players the Rangers began testing the ability enhancing attributes of crack cocaine on hockey players ( hey I didn't say they were smart only sick deceitful cheaters) Their first subject was my all time favorite hockey player Kevin Stevens.

When Stevens was traded from the Penguins he was one of the elite power forwards in the league. By 2000 Stevens had hit rock bottom as he was found smoking crack in a St Louis motel room with a prostitute (man I hate when that happens). Shortly after the incident the Rangers traded Stevens to Philadelphia (a place where a crackhead can blend in) and closed down their Super-Stoner Program in favor of just buying other teams best players.

Recent events in the the NHL Playoffs have prompted the fine folks at the Nittanyproudfoot Investigative Journalism Devision ( motto: Yea...We Didn't Even Know We Existed) to reopen our extensive files on the incident and it has led us to conclude that in the salary cap era the Rangers have resurrected their Crackhead Development Program.

Our Proof?
Or How About this

And finally is this the goatee of a sober man?
We rest our case

Peace out Yo

P.S. Sean Avery sucks toes for coke, but if you ask nicely he'll do it for free

Breaking News

2008-04-27T13:08:00.003-04:00

This just in to Nittanyproudfoot World News Headquarters in Tube City Pa

A reliable source in the upper echelon of management of the computer internet; a Mr. A. Gore formally of Tennessee. Has informed us here at The 'Proudfoot that a new website has appeared in recent weeks. Mr. Gore has confirmed that the publisher is none other than arch-nemesis and all around douche Brian

Brian ( pictured to the right just moments before he singlehandedly ate an entire litter of kittens) has created a new writing style based around an age old theory that if you gave a thousand monkeys a thousand typewriters and had them write for a thousand years you would be able to produce work of Shakespearian quality.

Brian's new attempt at internet fame and possibly world domination is based off of a slightly skewed version of this theory. He believes that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred laptops for a hundred minutes a day they will be able to produce writing of a slightly higher quality than the average blogger, the chimps will also spend slightly less time trowing poo than their average human counterpart.

So armed with a room of laptops stolen from inner-city classrooms and a brigade of monkeys acquired quite cheaply from circuses and old Hollywood moves (including the stars of Every Which Way But Loose and Dunston Checks In) Brian has set his sites on the computer internet. As I write this he is on his way to the Just Like Sunny Day Real Estate office in Baltimore, we here at The Nittanyproudoot wish the JLSDRE Crew a Happy Draft Day Weekend and caution them to beware of industrial sabotage, that cretin from the 134 Lounge cannot be trusted.

The 134 Lounge Staff hard at work on their latest post

As for the 134 Lounge itself, we here at The 'Proudfoot would like to see it succeed, after all it had it's start in our short lived 'Don't Trust This Man" segment. We feel like Oprah to their Dr Phil. Come to think of it there aren't many people we hate more that Brian and Dr. Phil except maybe Denis Green.....Damn You Dennis Green!

We here at The Nittanyproudfoot will not be updating to the new monkey and laptop form of publishing. Rest assured all our post will be made the old fashion way... by orphans hand writing each and every post in a sweatshop then having little old ladies in sub par nursing homes transcribe them using mac computers from 1988. Sometimes the old ways are still the best the orphan tears and arthritis provide a certain ambiance that the smell of apes just doesn't have.

Links to The 134 Lounge and JLSDRE can be found in the sidebar have a look

Peace Out Yo

The People of Minnesota vs The Nittanyproudfoot

2008-04-25T14:38:00.003-04:00

I'm not allowed in the state of Minnesota anymore.

Don't act so surprised we all knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, I mean me and the Land of 1000 Lakes had been on a collision course for years.

Also it's safe to say that my invitation to the Annual Green Family Reunion and Fishing trip will not be forthcoming.

So before I could start my new job I had to take a couple of education field refresher courses, you know basic stuff; Dealing with Troubled Youth, First Aid, and Tackling Children 101. The classes were held in the same room from 9 to 5 every day for a week so I had plenty of time to get to know my classmates. The only problem was it was a fairly diverse group with very little in common. For instance the catalyst for my lifetime ban from Minnesota is a black man in his late 50's, lets go down the list of my favorite things and see what he can relate to....
1) Hockey - Nope- Went roller skating a few times thats about it
2) British Indie Rock - Nope- He'll stick with The Temptations
3) Recent World History - Nope not really his cup of tea
4) Being a White 20-Something-College-Grad - Nope
5) Football - Yes! Whooo this conversation is so on!

So the chat begins moving from the Steelers Playoff chances to potential draft picks and finally to coaches.
The topic starts well enough; Al Davis is a psycho, Tony Dungy built the Bucs Superbowl team, if Romeo Crenell makes the playoffs with the Browns again he's going to ge on hell of a contract and should be eligible for sainthood.

But then comes the moment of the storm as my new friend says " Black coaches are underrated in the league" Now for a lot of people this would be a moment to agree and move on rather that bring race into the picture. But to be honest I just consider the idea of race outdated, I associate with very few people with racist ideas and all of them are very old and very crazy. I refuse to back out of any conversation of race because I feel that gives strength to something that shouldn't matter in the first place. So here is what I told him

1Tony Dungy is one of the top 3 coaches in the NFL.

2 Mike Tomlin has already endeared himself to Steeler fans, if they don't treat him well when the teams not playing well its not because he's black its because they're psychotic and they treat the team like gods or mud depending on the score the previous Sunday. If he goes 9-7 things will be ugly, if he's 12-4 he'll get his own parody song on 'DVE that's just the way it is in this screwed up city. And yes racism dose exist here but a lot of those people were born before the forward pass so we'll just have to deal with it for a little longer.

3 Finally I came to my last point, this was so going to put that nail in the coffin, here is comes, it's going to be Me 1 - Racism 0,
"Plus how can you say that black coaches are underrated when Denis Green was the most overrated coach in the last 15 years? I mean don't get me wrong he was good with the Vikings but the Cardinals hired him to singlehandedly turn around their joke of a franchise.If that's not being overrated I don't know what is."

Wait what is it you just said my new football talken buddy? I didn't catch that last sentence you muttered through clenched teeth.

Ahh Denis Green's your first cousin, you're very close, you go fishing together every summer. Well I'm just going to go over there and pull my foot out of my mouth and cancel my vacation to St Paul.

If anyone gets a chance could they forward me a list of famous people from Pittsburgh that I should avoid mocking because their relative may be waiting at the bus station down the street?

Oh and you don't have to put Michael Keaton on the list because if I run into anyone from his family tree I will proudly exclaim that he is the finest eyebrow actor in these United States and that the film Multiplicity was a true work of art that should be preserved in the Smithsonian for the benefit of future generations.

Ok that's it for today, now where did i put that copy of Johnny Dangerously

Oh and Green in the words of Roman Maroni...
This is fargin war!

peace out yo

Go Vote!

2008-04-21T23:31:00.004-04:00

"Our answer is the world's hope; it is to rely on youth. The cruelties and the obstacles of this swiftly changing planet will not yield to obsolete dogmas and outworn slogans. It cannot be moved by those who cling to a present which is already dying, who prefer the illusion of security to the excitement and danger which comes with even the most peaceful progress. This world demands the qualities of youth: not a time of life but a state of mind, a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination, a predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over the love of ease."

Go Vote! If you need a ride call me. If you need to find your polling place, call me. If you want to help out, it's not too late call me, I put you in touch with the people that can put you to work.

2008-04-18T13:56:00.004-04:00

We interupt this extended period of silence to bring you this breaking news...

Armed with a new laptop, new job that is guaranteed to produce some high quality writing material, and new excuses for why I never post when I say I will
the Nittanyproudfoot resumes its regularly scheduled programing early next week

Happy St Prakits Day Weekend!

2008-02-27T19:56:00.003-05:00

It's St Prakits Day Weekend. If your good St Prakit will bring you Malt Liquor and cheap Gas Station Cigars.
But if your bad he's going to bust a cap in your ass with his trusty glock.

And I heard him exclaim as he scurried out of sight....

" eeeeeeeeee, drink up you japansies , yea! Hug Life"

peace out yo

Don't Listen to this Man!

2008-02-22T20:06:00.005-05:00

So in an attempt to get more worthless stuff on this page in a timely manner I have turned to the one man in this world I despise above all others, my former roommate and archenemy Brian. You can expect a return to the high level of internet magic you usually find on this site in the not so distant future (lets say Sunday-ish)

I've spent the last half hour trying to think of a name for this new reoccurring(?) article. Here's the list of potential names...

Ask Frankenberry
Swatcats Corner
Douchebag with a Computer: The Brian Chronicles

After much thought I've decided to go with something a little more to the point. So without further adieu I give to you the premier episode of...

Don't listen to this Man!

Well, because Matt neglects his blog much like the Spears family neglects the use of birth control, he has allowed me, his former roommate and arch-nemesis, to make some semi-regular posts to keep you people interested (Like you really were before) in his absence. So, to give you the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to venture into my mildly entertaining and slightly disturbing world, I’m going to regale you with little story about my last haircut. Exciting, I know. This is my first blog post, so I’m going to apologize in advance for it sucking, but seriously I don’t apologize because I don’t know you and you probably can’t do any better than this either. Unless you are the next Hemmingway or something (I know I like to drink heavily and degrade women while I write). Anyways, here goes nothing.

Now, because I’m beginning to look like Peter from The Brady Bunch, its about time for me to get a haircut, so I take a trip after work to the local Supercuts. I’ve always gotten my hair did at “the ‘cuts”, mostly due to the fact that there is at least one good looking girl working who likes to wear a low cut shirt that shows off some reasonably impressive cleavage. (I’m a virile male in his prime. Don’t judge me.) Luckily for me, this was one of those times.

So in between me staring at this girls ample chesticles and pretending not to when she looks at me, she decided to strike up a conversation about all the basic crap everyone who doesn’t know you and doesn’t care what you have to say asks you about. I hate that. You see, I have an unwritten rule that I like to follow while getting my haircut: Don’t talk to the haircutter whilst she is cutting hair. I know it seems like an odd rule to have, but I’d rather have the person cutting my hair less interested in my favorite color, and more so on not mutilating me with the 6” pair of shears being held ever so close to my head. Call me paranoid, but whatever. And its not like I ignore people when they say something to me, I just give shortened answers. Usually just a simple yes or no. (I tried to write a plural “yes” there and spellcheck autocorrected to “yeses”. Weird, huh?)

So this girl starts cutting and is asking me a bunch of questions about where I live and shit like that, to which I give my quick and dirty answers to. I probably seem like an ass, but again, I have my rule and I’m still being polite and responding appropriately. As she’s going through the whole haircut routine, she seems to care less and less about the quality of work being done, like she has some new and amazing form of Super-ADD that only allows her 30 seconds of focus before not giving a complete and total shit anymore. Her whole modus operandi went from hair-cutting professional to Helen Keller with a Weedwacker in under 3 minutes time, with my hair being the obvious victim.

At this point, she pauses to for both of us to sit back for a moment and reflect on the work that was just done. This is also the point where I commit a very big no-no. She runs her hand through my mangled mane and grabs a fistful to show me as she asks the question “What do you think?”. Now my mind is still around the vicinity of two minutes ago where the Demon Barber (Barbette?) of Fleet Street is taking chunk after inglorious chunk out of my hair, leaving me in a state of semi-shock and partial dismay. So I go fishing for the only words that I can formulate and let them drip and dangle from my tongue like a 4-day old piece of fish left to rot in the sun.

“It’s alright.”

Good god what have I done. This woman is holding a very large potential murder weapon in her hand and my arms are trapped under this vinyl sheet of death that prevents me from mounting any sort of defense against an incoming attack.

Some of you are probably saying “What’s the big deal, Brian? ‘It’s alright’ seems like a harmless enough statement.” and to you folks I say; Wrong. You see, the exact words I said were “it’s alright” but by reading the context and tone in which it was said, you could see the true statement uttered was “Fuck you, you crazy psycho bitch. This haircut fucking blows giant ass chunks.”

Needless to say, the rest of the haircut was held in silence and an unhappy haircut girl managed to exact revenge by ignoring any and all requests by me about the rest of the cut, which resulted in me losing a good inch of sideburn on one side, and about a half of inch on the other. Also needless to say, I quickly paid the fee without complaint and got the fuck out of Dodge as soon as humanly possible so I could scamper home and fix the damage done.

And that is basically the story of my social ineptitude and superhuman ability to create awkward situations out of almost nothing at all. Sorry for the length of this post, but don’t worry, from here on out they will be much shorter and hopefully less painful for you and less physically disfiguring for me.

Also, look back about 4 paragraphs ago and read that shit again. It’s a god damn literary masterpiece. Maybe I am the next Hemmingway, so here’s hoping the next beer is on you!

Editors Note:

Yea Hemingway also blew his brains out with a shotgun he purchased at Abercrombie &Fitch, while living in Idaho. Fingers crossed this trend continues.
Oh and Hemingway is spelled with one "m" you jackass.

ok gang that's it for now check back sunday for new mindless banter

peace out yo

Botox is the Dark Side of The Schwartz

2008-02-10T01:24:00.000-05:00

This just in to The Nittanyproudfoot News Room

A recent study by the FDA has concluded the pumping your face full of
toxins in order to limit the signs of the natural aging process could be harmful to your health.

We were able to catch up with Botox Company spokes person Pizza the Hut of Spaceballs Fame.
In response to the allegations that his company's product could have severe health risks he had this to say...

We here at the Botox Company make the safety of our customers our highest priority. Those crackpots at the FDA don't know what they're talking about. It is completely safe to inject our toxin errrrr I mean.... product into your face. Trust me I'm not only the spokesperson I've also been using the product since 1987

If Mr. the Hut says the product is safe then that's good enough for us here at the Nittanyproudfoot. Go ahead and shoot up America!

You can't argue with results like these

Editors note:
Only days after this interview was taped Mr. the Hut was found unresponsive in the back of his limo. Apparently he had locked himself in and was forced eat his person in order to stave off starvation . He was rushed to the nearest emergency room/Italian Bistro but it was too late. Pizza is survived by a side of bread sticks and his life partner Louie Anderson.

ok someone pass the face altering chemicals and marinara sauce

peace out yo

Let Me Take You Down, 'Cause I'm Going to...

2008-02-09T22:02:00.000-05:00

Forty-four years ago today an event occurred that changed the world.

No government was overthrown, no leader assassinated, no conflict was sparked. Quit simply four kids from Liverpool stepped on to the stage at CBS Studio 50 in New York City and sang a song.

The kids were John, Paul, George, and Ringo. The Stage was the set of the Ed Sullivan Show and the impact was immeasurable.

No I'm not talking about the end of Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey where the Wylde Stalynz song saves the world. The Beatles impact was much more subtle. After all Sullivan was the moral censor of America, a one man television network (kinda like a 1950s Oprah that didn't give cars away but also wasn't bugging you to read all the time) . You tell our buddy Eddy-S you want a Revolution and he's going to tell you to cut you hair and get a job in the Asbestos Plant.

Ed Sullivan Says...

"If you don't like the modern miracle that is Asbestos your a dirty filthy Communist!"

No the Beatles didn't play Happiness is a Warm Gun or anything even remotely inflammatory that night, in fact the evenings most risque number was probably I Want to Hold Your Hand. The songs the Beatles played that night didn't change the world but it did create the most profound connection between an artiest and a generation popular culture has ever known. Its difficult to find anything to comparable to it. Nirvana's Smells like Teen Spirit?, Springsteen's Born in the USA? Grandmaster Flash's The Message? They're all ground breaking but they can't hold a candle to the moment the Baby Boomers met The Beatles.

On Sunday February 9th, 73,700,000 people watched a band sing " She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah:. On Monday February 10th the youth of America began picking up guitars and growing their hair out like the Fab Four. What would Ed Sullivan have said if he had known that the simple act of letting a couple of Britts preform on his weekly show would be the first shot of a cultural revolution?

Only a few years later many of the kids that watched a harmless band preform on the most holy bastion of 1950's American culture, The Ed Sullivan Show, would be taking part in some of the great moments of the 20th century. These youth would walk with King and Bobby Kennedy in the spring of 1968, they would accompany Timothy Leary on his Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, they would close down the administration building at Howard University, and face the brutal force of the establishment on the the streets of Chicago during the Democratic National Convention

Not bad for four kids from an English port town singing about holding hands

On a related note ...

The DVD for Across the Universe was released this week. It's a musical made up entirely of Beatles song set in 1960's New York. I caught it when it was in theaters and I highly recommend it.

Also...
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi the man The Beatles studied under on their 1968 trip to India passed away this week. He was responsible for the development of Transcendental Mediation

Transcendental Meditation attempts to settle down the thinking process until the subject experiences “pure consciousness.” I actualy taught a lesson on the subject this fall and along with being a very healthy practice for mind and body the technique dose in fact create altered brain waves in some subjects. So yea, at least in my opinion, it is possible to reach an altered state of consciousness using the technique.

Alright maybe I'll go meditate. On second thought I'm going to go watch Cartoons instead.

peace out yo

Putting on the foil...want some Coach?

2008-02-08T23:04:00.000-05:00

Alright time to drop the gloves for Hockey

I stumbled across this Harris Poll the other day. Cause you know me I love to cruse the computer internet for scientific studies on random unimportant subjects. Anyway the poll found that hockey is now the fifth ranked sport in the United States behind Pro and College Football, Baseball, and NASCAR.

I know a lot of people out there aren't fans of my favorite pastime but you have to admit that no sport puts up with as much crap. Most of the air time on ESPN is accompanied by snide remarks and condescending references to that Clown-Shoe Gretzky. The League has been banished to a disused cable channel thats home to Professional Bull Fighting and Hunting Shows.

But in spite of all of this the sport has actually managed to grow. Youth hockey continues to expand, attendance is up league wide, and the New Years Day game between the Penguins and the Sabers set a Twelve year record for ratings and an NHL record for Single Game Attendance.

So I'm not going to sit here and say that you'll be watching Game 7 of the Cup Finals instead of the Super Bowl next year. But would a little respect be so much to ask for?

On a lighter note:
The post title come from one of the greatest sports movies ever, Slapshot, it was actually filmed in Johnstown. If you've never seen the movie its safe to say you've never lived. And though I hate to say it the following clip is an accurate depiction of some of the lower end minor league games I've seen.

So watch the CLIP and until next time Keep your Sticks on the Ice

peace out yo

http://www.harrisinteractive.com/harris_poll/index.asp?PID=866

Something From the Archives

2008-02-08T01:56:00.000-05:00

So I found this while I was pulling the site out of the mothballs yesterday and its so good I think I'll post it again. So welcome to the first episode of a new series
Nittanyproudfoot Classics!

Ok honestly I just figured this would be a good way to keep the site fresh without having to constantly write new posts. But really this is pretty good stuff. It was originally posted in the Fall of 2005

Now is about the time you should start doing the time travel hand thing from Wayne's World

A Steel City Exorcism

So apparently the tourism industry of Thailand is having a difficult time rebuilding after last Decembers tsunami. The reason? according to Suwalai Pinpradab of the Tourism Authority of Thailand many Asia beach goers refuse to return to Asia's southern beaches because they believe them to be haunted by the spirits of tsunami victims.

Well if you were dead were would you rather be? Taken the long dirt nap in Akron Ohio or spending eternity lounging in the warm sand of the South Pacific? Unfortunately bringing in paying customers takes priority over the comfort of freeloading poltergeists so the Tourism Authority of Thailand is doing what any reasonable 21st century government would do.

A statue of Godmother Ruby (aka Mazu in Chinese) will be taking up residence on the Thai island of Phuket. Ruby's job? Ghost eviction of course. Sorry Casper, it really sucks you were crushed by a monstrous wave and all but I really wanna do some boogie-boarding and your creeping me out.

So this got me thinking. Maybe when the Thai Government is all done playen Ghostbusters in Paradise they can ship good old Godmother Ruby to Pittsburgh's North Shore because according to Ween, Tommy Maddox has been dead for quite a while now and yet he continues to show up week after week at Heinz Field. There's only room for one evil spirit in "The Coca-Cola Great Hall" and Rod Woodson has seniority.

peace out yo

Don't Call It a Comback

2008-02-07T13:46:00.000-05:00

Ah Yes; Back by Lack of Popular Demand.

So here was the plan

Step 1.
Start a blog and post regularly
Step 2.
Gain a sizable following and entertain them with my witty banter
Step 3.
Completely ignore the site for the better part of a year thereby angering all regular readers and completely destroying all that pesky website traffic.
Step 4.
??????????????
Step 5.
A reoccurring guest spot on the now revamped television program Perfect Strangers!

But alas my master plan never came to fruition. Apparently they were never able to locate the dumpster that Bronson Pincho is living in nowadays .
And Mark Linn-Baker is still a little bitter because he's always mistaken for the guy that played Dudley "Booger" Dawson in Revenge of the Nerds.

So with my dreams of sitcom glory extinguished for the moment I guess I'll turn my creative energies back to this train wreck. Oh and speaking of Perfect Strangers word on the street is that there will soon be a DVD of the first two seasons and if that doesn't make you want to do the Dance of Joy you might as well hand in your membership card to the Human Race.

According to our crack team of Investigative Journalists here at The Nittanyproudfoot Curtis Armstrong the actor that portrayed Booger is currently serving a prison sentence for repeatedly breaking a restraining order taken out by a Mr. John Cusack. Apparently Armstrong had on a number of occasions attempted to get Mr. Cusack to sign on to a new project he believed would jump start his career. The film entitled Better Off Dead 2 : Dead Meat; would feature Cusack and Armstrong as buddy cops fighting an army of those dancing Hamburgers featured in the first movie. The police finally had to be summoned when Mr. Armstrong showed up on Cusack's lawn wearing a giant burger costume holding a boom-box over his head.

Whimsical 80's Icon or Heartless Killing Machine?
You be the Judge

We recently had a chance to sit down with Mr Armstrong who is currently on work release to UPN network. Although most of the conversation took the form of indecipherable mutterings and those earth shattering the belches he made famous as Booger in the Revenge movies we were able to pull out a few words..... something about a conspiracy involving "New Coke" "Reganonimics", and "Cabbage Patch Kids" Immediately after finishing this statement Armstrong screamed "Tell Cyndi Lauper I'm sorry" and passed out.

Conspiracy perpetrated by Regan Administration?

Ok references to the Gipper, Perfect Strangers, and Dudley Dawson, and Better Off Dead in one post. Yea I think it's safe to say the Nittanyproudfoot is back.

Stay Tunned Boys and Girls We're Back on the Air

and as always.....

peace out yo

New Serge Book!

2007-04-08T23:21:00.000-04:00

A few things....

First off if there is anything more fun than a bizzyween trip to madmex i don't want to know about it. It's almost enough to make me wish I didn't live in a place called "The Happy Valley" Speaking of my current place of residence, I expect you guys to come through on that promise of a visit in the very near future no matter how much tequila was ingested last night.

Also I got my copy of the "new" Tim Dorsey book; The Big Bamboo. I'm pretty sure the release of his latest book in paperback is one of the highlights of my spring every year. With every book I read I want to be Serge a little more, maybe with a little less murder, but only a little less. I also finally got around to picking up a copy of Anansi Boy, it was one of those books that I always mean to buy when I go to a book store but I always forget about, I really need to make a list of the stuff I want to read, either that or join the 21st century and get them online. I don't know I just really love running around a book store. I always leave with five things that I had no idea I wanted when I walked in the door.

Oh and the fact that I forgot about Anansi Boy probably means I forgot to read other stuff too. So if you can think of anything else that I should have read but probably was too scatterbrained to remember please let me know. Then feel free to beat me over the head with the nearest blunt object for getting so far behind on my reading.

peace out yo

Something Nifty to Look At

2007-04-02T19:03:00.000-04:00

Speedy introduced this comic over the weekend and I think it's friggen hilarious. It stars three dinosaurs who apparently have traveled through time and learned to speak. The really great thing about it is that it uses the same set of pictures for every strip the only thing that changes is the dialog. You really should check it out it's usually pretty hilarious. Check it out HERE, (the link is also in my links on the side bar)

peace out yo

Can I Go Back to the Dive Bar Now? I Don't Want to be Trendy Anymore.

2007-04-01T20:25:00.000-04:00

So a couple friends dragged me to a night club last night with hilarious results. Normally I would have just sent them on their way and went back to partaking in the fabulous drink specials of a Saturday night at the Rathskeller but unfortunately I had been enjoying the fabulous drink specials at the Rathskeller a little too long and that made a trip to Lulu's Night Club sound like a peachy idea.

The funny thing about me and clubs is that all parties involved quickly come to the realization that I am way out of my element.Usually the first hint is my Saturday night attire, this consists of jeans, a pair of vans, and an outdated band t-shirt(last night was Sonic Youth) and sometimes a button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up if I'm feeling particularly sophisticated. Now this is acceptable garb for a night at the Skeller or any of my other weekend haunts but it tends to make you stick out a bit in a room filled with popped colliers and b-ball jerseys. More than once I got a look from a scantily clad sorority type that obviously meant "what are you doing here?" to witch I non-verbally replied with a shrug that I thought most closely approximated me saying "I'm just as surprised as you"
It's just a completely different world in there, one were the skill set I've picked up in the Happy Valley just doesn't cut it. For instance the bartender looked at me like I had just said something very rude about his mother when I ordered a double after my first drink had less alcohol in it than the mouthwash I used this morning. Apparently the mission in these places is to consume as many of these watered down concoctions as you can and still leave as sober as a preacher on Sunday at the end of the night. And the request for a decent drink is the verbal equivalent of a punch in the nose.

There's also the problem of conversation, apparently your supposed to check your personality at the coat room because the people in the place may have been some of the most uninteresting creatures ever to grace the surface of gods green earth. For example a friend introduced me to a girl he knew, she seemed normal enough at first as we went through "preliminary" conversation (where are you from? what's your major?) but when it came time to move on to something a little more substantial she apparently left her mind at home with rest of the cloths that any normal person would have worn out of the house when its below 50 degrees outside.It was like talking to a brick wall in a pair of stilettos

Finally to top off this interesting evening I was talking to a few friends making it known that I had just about enough of the club scene for one evening and was ready for a cheap slice of pizza and a late night visit to my favorite residents of Penn Towers. Somewhere in the middle of the conversation this girl that I had never seen before in my life and chances are I'll never see again walks into the middle of our group and starts dancing with me. Now normally I would have played along, I mean I'm not a great dancer but I can move well enough to not be mistaken for an extra in Dawn of the Dead and after all it was a club, that dancing stuff does tend to happen occasionally. But I was tired and I didn't want to play anymore. Not to mention the fact that that this encounter occurred no where near the dance floor and in the middle of a very funny story. So I did the only reasonable thing I continued the story completely ignoring the gyrating occurring in my immediate vicinity. My friends claimed it was one of the funniest things they've ever seen as this pretty young sorority type was doing her thing and I was telling my story as if I were waiting at the bus stop. Looking back I can't help feel a little guilty about the encounter but honestly who dose that? And it's not like she was going to remember it the next day any way.

So I guess there really isn't a moral to the story, just a long list of reasons why I should not be allowed to go out to places the employ DJs and smoke machines or mix alcohol with energy drinks.

Next time can we please just stay at the Skeller?

peace out yo

Happy St. Prakit's Day!

2007-02-14T10:08:00.000-05:00

If your good today St Prakit will bring you Malt Liquor and cheap Gas Station Cigars.
But if your bad he's going to bust a cap in your ass with his trusty glock.

And I heard him exclaim as he scurried out of sight....

" eeeeeeeeee, drink up you japansies , yea! Hug Life"

peace out yo

Turning and Turning in the Widening Gyre ?

2007-02-12T01:09:00.000-05:00

Usually when it comes to politics I tend to err on the side of cynicism but for some reason I really want this to be true. For a very long time my favorite historical figure has been Robert Kennedy. There was so much promise in the 1968 Presidential Campaign and the tragedy that befell him leaves me with lingering thoughts of what could have been. I've always thought of the year 1968 as a promise that the world sorely needed to be fulfilled but was for the most part was buried with its leaders, King in April and RFK only two months later. True the causes they stood for did not disappear after the summer of '68 but no one can deny that the movements took a staggering blow with their deaths one which I feel they have still not fully recovered from even forty years later. Four decades is a long time and a lot changes after that long. You'd be hard pressed to find a connection between The Lawrence Welk Show and anything on the television today (if you don't know what that is go ask someone over 35) But still I can't help but be struck by the similarities of those times and our own.

Now before I go any further I have to make something very clear. I never have been and I never will be a proponent of the statement "we should learn from the past because the past repeats it's self" That's a ridiculous oversimplification that a very poor history teacher feeds to a classroom full of surly tenth graders as an excuse for why they should care about William of Orange and The Glorious Revolution. No, history dose not travel on a circular path and once we experience a moment there is no returning to it. Maybe Yeats got it right, (in his own sort of apocalyptic-crazy-guy-with-an "the end is near sign"-kind -of-way) when he described history as a spiral, growing outward occasionally passing by and sharing similarities with previous points on the spiral. Then again maybe there is no organization to history, after all Yeats claimed that a ghost had given him this theory and that the world would end in 1921.

With that said I was struck a few days ago when I listened to the audio of Barack Obama's Presidential Announcement. I could not believe how much it sounded like the speeches given by Bobby Kennedy in the spring of 1968. Now it's not fair to either one of them to compare them too closely but as someone who has spent a lot of the last year studying 20th century American history I can't help but marvel how the "spiral" has found it's way back to these circumstances forty years later. Or maybe this is just wishful thinking, a member of Generation Y in search of his own "rendezvous with destiny". Whatever the case may be I feel the need to believe in this. I really truly want this to be my '68, lord knows we could use one.

peace out yo

My New Music; Cool Britannia or a Titanic Load of Bullocks?

2007-01-29T23:06:00.000-05:00

So I've totally been on a new music kick for the past month and as any of you that have known me for any length of time have come to realize, I love forcing my horrible music on anyone who is unfortunate enough to come into contact with me. One word of warning I've been going heavy on the British stuff lately so I hope you like accents.

So with out further delay here are my top twenty new favorite bands for 07

20)Malajube - so they're a french Canadian jam band, I'm not completely sold on their sound yet but I love their music videos. Check out the video for Le Jus de Citron. Hear them HERE

19)The Arcade Fire - ok i know these guys have been around for quite a while but i still listen to them all the time so they make the list. For those that don't know them The Arcade Fire is another Canadian indie band (this time with English lyrics) They have a unique kinda mellow style with some very cool haunting vocals. Site HERE

18)Amplifico - I stumbled across these guys a few moths ago. It's hard to find a good band with a female lead singer and they have an excellent one. They have really great vocals and I love the mix of piano and rock guitar Check out their site there's a bunch of demos, listen to the song Here We Are that's probably their best. Their Site is HERE

17)Tokyo Police Club- One of my roommates started talking about these guys a month or two ago. They have a very upbeat indie grunge pop kinda sound. You'll love the pace of the music it's very high energy. Here's their myspace page HERE

16)The Subways- The thing that's so great about The Subways is how heavy they are, it's really hard find a good heavy rock band. I don't want metal but i do want something a little crunchier than Savage Garden ( not that there's anything wrong with Savage Garden, my apologies to a certain fan out there). Anyway they're a little too main stream to make top 15 but still good, Site Here

15)The Real McKenzies- Very cool band from Nova Scotia, just think of them as the Scottish version of the Dropkick Murphys. Listen HERE

14) Asobi Seksu- This band has totally turned into a guilty pleasure for me. There's no denying it they're strait up indie pop but I love the Japanese lyrics. Check the out HERE

13)The Rakes- All the reviews that I've seen call them an indie rock band but they are as punk as they come. I love their song Strasbourg its such an old school British punk song. Their site is HERE

12)Babyshambles- They're a band that has been around a while but the fact that they're out of England and that they are neither The Beatles nor Oasis means most people don't know them. Site HERE

11)Voxtrot- These guys have a very 60's rock kind of sound. Listen to their song Raised by Wolves. Their website is HERE

10) Hockey Night- The cool thing about Hockey Night is the Fact that they have two drummers. I love the sound especially in the song For Guys Only. HERE is their myspace page

9)The Pigeon Detectives- Another one of those new English rock bands good guitars but the background vocals get a little old. Don't Know How to Say Goodbye is a great song though. Check them out HERE

8)Wolf Parade- they're kinda like The Arcade Fire with a little less art and a lot more rock. I love the wining vocals. Listen HERE

7)Gogol Bordello- Two Words: Gypsy Punks. very cool stuff. I love it. Check them out HERE

6)The Librtines- These guys may have already broken up, the lead singer formed Babyshambles last year but I still prefer this line up. Listen HERE

5)Peter, Bjorn, and John- I've only heard a few of their songs but I've loved all of them. They have a very trendy sound and I love the whistling in some of the songs Plus they're from Sweden. They have a myspace page HERE

4) Ok so maybe I miscounted when I started this I only have 19 new bands. On with the countdown!

3)Rocco DeLuca and the Burden- I make it a point not to listen to music i hear on television but in this case i made a exception. I figure being in a "Rockumentary" with Kefer Sutherland actually makes you less popular so they need all the help they can get. Plus DOBRO guitars have a ridiculously cool sound. Listen to their song Swing Low. Their site is HERE

2) Kasabian- Kasbabian plays a really cool mix of Brittrock, Electronica, with a little hip hop thrown in. It's such an original sound. Their song Processed Beats is defiantly my favorite song at the moment. Listen HERE

1) Little Man Tate- By far my new favorite band; the best way describe them is to say that they are exactly what the Arctic Monkeys should have been. They have really great videos, my favorite is Party at Boothys ( Watch it HERE) The Band is about to release their first CD this month and although they haven't ventured far from their home in Sheffield England while touring don't be surprised to see them in the States in the next year or two, my bet is they're going to be big. Check out their Site HERE

So there you have it my top 20, I mean top 19 bands for 07, hope you like them. And may god have mercy on my tone deaf soul

peace out yo

Beating a Dead Horse

2007-01-24T23:14:00.000-05:00

I hope your all happy. Apparently you people actually read my atrocious writing so the Nittanyproudfoot is back by popular (all be it questionable) demand. Don't get me wrong I don't I don't mind writing, in fact I get a kick out of seeing my mindless babel on the "computer internet". I'm just surprised that any human being with the vast reaches of the world wide web at their fingertips would chose to waist their time here. After all I'm sure there's a new clip of a monkey in a tuxedo up on youtube and I just can't compete with that. But hey if you guys actually find me more entertaining than a chimp in a top hat I guess we can give this another go. So what I'm trying to say is you can start checking the site regularly again without the fear of cursing my name because the same post appears that you've seen on you last 97 visits. So check back soon, I've got new stuff to say and if you’re lucky I'll tell you the story of the pineapple-lantern.

Right-o I'm off to find the video of that monkey in a tuxedo

peace out yo

A Slightly Overdue Update

2006-09-13T18:23:00.000-04:00

So there hasn't been a real update on this site since February so I figure it's about time to play a little catch up.

First off I apologize to everyone that I didn't get a chance to hang out with during my abbreviated summer vacation. Between my job and the fact that I had to be out of my old apartment by the middle of August there wasn't a lot of time to fit everything I wanted to in before I moved back up not that I'm complaining about spending two full school-free weeks in the happy valley.

Which brings me to some other interesting news, my spring plans have changed I'm now staying at Penn State through the Spring Semester then coming back to the Burgh to student teach in the Fall. In related news for the first time since I was 16 I don't have a car so my trips home are going to be a lot fewer than last year, so I guess everyone's just going to have to come up here instead. There are certain parties that read this that have made few or in one shocking case no trips to PSU in the last year (I'm talking to you Biz) I expect this to be remedied some time this semester.

In other news

I'm total pumped for the return of hockey especially after my poor football team got smacked around last week. To be honest I'm a little disappointed by out free-agent pick ups but the fact that Malkin is going to play totally makes up for it. I'm especially excited to see the progress Whitney, Welch, and Armstrong are going to make this year. Although I'm not about to come out and make a bold Stanley Cup prediction like last year I will say that if those three players have break out seasons a playoff spot isn't that unrealistic. If your going to be in the Burgh in the next few weeks Pens training camp is taking place at the Igloo, admission and parking are free and I think the Camp tournament could be especially entertaining with all the young talent that's going to be in camp this year

ok i have some real work that needs to be done so that's it for now,

peace out yo

2006-09-02T13:57:00.000-04:00

A teacher starts a new job in West Lafeyette, Indiana. To make a good impression, she says that she's a Purdue fan. She asks the class if they're fans too. All raise their hands but 1 little girl. The teacher asks her why she didn't raise her hand. "Because I'm a Penn State fan, and proud of it," the girl replied.
The teacher asks, "Why are you a Nittany Lions fan?"
"Because my Mom & Dad are Penn Staters, so I'm a Penn Stater too!"
"Well," said the teacher, "that's not a reason for you to be a Penn State fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your Mom was a prostitute and your Dad was a drug addict, car thief, and wrote bad checks, what would you be then?"
The girl said, "I'd be a Michigan fan."

We Are Penn State

Ha ! Malkin's Great Escape

2006-08-14T00:29:00.000-04:00

Smarter Than The Average Bear

2006-03-21T19:55:00.000-05:00

On this day in 1962 a bear became the first animal to be ejected from an airplane while traveling at supersonic speeds. And yet 50 odd years later we needed a documentary to explain why a grizzly ate Timothy Treadwell. I'll tell you why he became a tasty addition Yogi's pic-a-nic basket; no it wasn't the primal hunger of a wild beast faced with a tasty (albeit oddly dressed) meal. This is a case of premeditated revenge pure and simple, I think it's only a matter of time before we have to deal with all those chimps NASA's put into orbit over the years.

So watch out people the Space Monkeys are coming and god help us all if they join forces with those pesky bears.

peace out yo, now I'm off to alert Ranger Smith

Odds & Ends (well at least odds)

2006-02-23T19:54:00.000-05:00

Lots of stuff to cover so lets get to it...

So I finally did make my hockey pick for the Olympics. The day of the first game I chose Slovakia to win out and it looks like I might have been right. I still love Canadian hockey but I just can't cheer for a team led by a GM that would name his friends to the roster at the expense of younger more talented players. As for the US it seems like they've finally figured it out. After getting spanked by the rest of the world and compiling a 1-4-1 there's now a call for an overhaul of team USA ( great article HERE) . I love seeing these washed up losers finally getting what they deserve I especially enjoyed it when Mike Madono was benched in the third period of the last game.

I spent last weekend back in the 'port, sorry I didn't bother to let any of you know but I only came in to help clean out my grandparents old house so I spent the whole weekend down there. I should be back in town in two weeks because Penn State likes to have spring break while it's still fricken freezing out. No real plans for the week yet, I'm a little too broke to tag along with the group that's going to Florida but a random roadtrip or a little backpacking isn't out of the question. I'm open to suggestions let me know.

A little heads up, Discovery Channel is showing the documentary Grizzly Man saturday and sunday nights at eight. Grizzly Man is the story of amateur grizzly expert Timothy Treadwell who spent thirteen years living with the grizzlies in Katmia National Park. You know with a title like "amateur grizzly expert" there can only be one outcome, all I can say is that a mauling has never been this entertaining.

Oh and with the State College area under a full scale Bizzyween warning I've decided to go ahead and fire the local head of FEMA before he has a chance to screw up. Here's hoping that people are trapped on their roofs before the visit's over.

ok I think it's about time I start writing my history paper

peace out yo

Finally SuperBowl Weekend Pics

2006-02-21T22:19:00.000-05:00

Ok it's been a crazy couple of weeks and now that I have some time most of the stuff I was gonna write about is a little out dated. So for now I'm going to post a few pictures (also a little outdated) A full post to come in the very near future, I swear

SuperBowl at the 1-3-4

A Grelsey PowerNap

A Random Thursty Thursday

Lenny's spitting out his 40oz cause the drunk girl suddenly became VERY friendly

A Drunk in a Broken Chair

Some pre-party Beer Pong, Team F'n Lenny is ready to roll

Jeff dose a keg stand in his slippers

Lenny's halftime masterpiece

me caring jeff around the house after steelers win the superbowl

A Very Happy Speedy

jimmie after 21 beer bongs (bad idea)

zambelie, kels, brenna, jeff, and me

me, jeff, brian, and tom going to the the steeler riot

jeff testing the patientce of the cops by running through the street in his steeler helmut

Lenny "the terrible banana"

jeff being; well jeff

Banana and Grelsey

me (in the pens hat) celebrating with 3,000 new friends
jeff on speedy's shoulders

so that's all I've got for tonight a post to follow tomorrow night.
But for now... peace out yo

2006-02-06T01:16:00.000-05:00

Cheer the Steelers, Black and the Gold
Town of Pittsburgh's, Heart and Soul
With Cowher power, will got the job done
We just won that one for the thumb

Just 60 Minutes from Immortality

2006-02-04T09:59:00.000-05:00

So I'm totally not going to blow what's turning out to be a very eventful weekend writing a long post. The final score for tomorrow's game will be 31 - 17 Steelers. And I guess if you can't be in Detroit or the Burgh, State College isn't a bad place to watch the Superbowl especially with all the Eagles fans wandering around looking like somebody just ran their puppy over with an eighteen wheeler . Right-o I'm off to a Black and Gold party at the 1-3-4 .

Oh, and to all you residents of the Steel City, if you feel the need to burn down the city after the Steelers big win tomorrow may I suggest you start Oakland? Just some helpful advice from your favorite resident of the Happy Valley

peace out yo

DID YOU KNOW?
70% of the earth is covered by water the other 30% is covered by Troy Polamalu

My Fellow Americans the State of the Union Is......Inebriated

2006-01-31T22:37:00.000-05:00

I don't feel like saying anything politically witty in regards to last night's State of the Union Address for no other reason than there was nothing said this year that I didn't complain about after last years speech. If your going to try to sell me meaningless political spin I would appreciate it if you at least tried to sell me fresh meaningless political spin.

Also for the third year in a row I played a drinking game with the speech unfortunately our commander in chief is such a walking cliche that even me, a professional college student in the prime of my drinking career, was starting to get a little tipsy by the time we reached the Democratic reprisal ( witch I personally thought sucked).

Finially, when did wearing a t-shirt that says "2,245 Dead. How many more?" become grounds for incarceration ? (click here for the AP story) Wire taps, arresting activists before they act; hey why don't we just bring back Joe McCarthy's House Committee on Un-American Activities or maybe Wilson's Committee on Public Information. Nothing says "We're going to defeat you Communist USSR, or Centrial Powers of World War I, or Pesky Middle Eastern Terrorist, like dismantling the Bill of Rights and persecuting your own citizens.

peace out yo

Putting the Banner Back in the Rafters

2006-01-24T10:15:00.000-05:00

The Penguins have called a press conference for 2:30 today. They haven't announced the reason yet but I think we've all figured it out.

I'm sorry Badger, Today is Not a Great Day for Hockey.

I'm going to go to go find a dark corner to crawl into and cry myself to sleep, Peace Out Yo

Believe

2006-01-22T21:50:00.000-05:00

Steeler Nation, Hear Me and Rejoice

2006-01-21T12:30:00.000-05:00

365 days ago I wrote a post confessing that I didn't think the Steelers would beat the Patriots in the 2005 AFC Championship (click here to read it). I had really bad feeling about it all week, everyone was too confident even after we won a game against the Jets that we probably should have lost. There was too much pressure, too many injuries, and our quarterback was burnt out. And sure enough my unfortunate prediction came true leading to another city wide depression on another Post-AFC Championship Loss Monday. You'd think we would have been used to it after93,94,97,and 01 but no it hurt just as much as ever. So Steeler Nation woke up that Tuesday and got back to doing what they do best, obsessing over their football team while completely ignoring the Pirates. They argued over draft picks, mocked Plexco Burress, and filed the hills of Latrobe with Black and Gold in the summer heat. And so once again we find ourselves on the brink of another AFC Championship Game with visions of Lombardi Trophies dancing in our heads. But something's different this year I don't have that feeling of impending doom heading into tomorrow's game. I would even go as far as to say the Steelers will win tomorrow in Denver and again in two weeks in Detroit. If I'm wrong may the ghost of Rod Woodson haunt me for the rest of my days. So take heart Steeler Nation this is your year, grab an Iron City and some wings from the Lube because the Terrible Towels will be waving after Super Bowl XL.

Peace Out Yo

One For the Thumb

Release the Monkeys

2006-01-16T13:25:00.000-05:00

So I found this a few days ago and I just had to share. It's the script for my favorite sketch from The Kids in the Hall. The Killer Monkeys. Enjoy.
Mr. Lewis: Monkeys are loose. Full of beans, sounds like to me. I let them loose... I mean, out of their cages... but I keep them in there... locked up in that room. If I was ever to let them monkeys out of the house, they'd be running this town inside a week. [We cut to Mr. Lewis standing next to another man, Manservant.]
Manservant: Everything he says is true. [We see Mr. Lewis stand before the door, undoing the locks.]
Mr. Lewis: Monkeys are in here. Think I'll let 'em out. [Mr. Lewis opens the door a bit and light pours from behind it. We hear the howls of monkeys before Mr. Lewis closes the door again.]
Mr. Lewis: [laughs] I was kidding. I wouldn't wish the monkeys on my worst enemy. These aren't cute monkeys. Nah. These are like those damn monkeys in "The Wizard of Oz"... only they aint got no wings... and they smell bad... these are vicious, mean-spirited monkeys.
Manservant: Saw a couple of them get a hold of a dog once....[shakes his head] hoo boy. [Cut to Mr. Lewis on a phone.]
Mr. Lewis: If I don't get a pizza here in ten minutes, I'M LETTING THE MONKEYS LOOSE! [Cut to a cab. Mr. Lewis and Manservant are in the back seat.] Mr. Lewis: Worked for 30 years over at the furniture department at the Eden's. Can't tell me everyone in this town didn't look down on me. Worked for commission. Lucky if I made 300 bucks a month. Now I run the whole damn furniture department! Ehhh? I live in Bobby Ore's house! [The three men laugh, the cab driver doing so nervously.]
Man: Here you are, Mr. Lewis. And I just want to say how much my wife and I appreciate you not letting them monkeys out....
Mr. Lewis: Oh, I figure I gotta let 'em out sometime..... tomorrow! [The man looks very worried until Mr. Lewis starts laughing. He laughs along with him.] [Cut back to the study.]
Mr. Lewis: People think I have got the power cause I've got the monkeys. Nope. I've got the power because I'll let the monkeys loose... They don't understand......
Manservant: If he says he'll let the monkeys loose, he WILL let the monkeys loose.
Mr. Lewis: They goddamn don't understand THAT... and they goddamn don't understand me. But that's okay. That's all right, see... cause people.. they understand monkeys.
peace out yo, and watch out for those monkeys