Of Rodents and CAT Scans

It's that very special time of year when you get that warm fuzzy feeling deep down in the pit of your stomach. That's right kiddies it's Finals Time! And that emotion that you’re currently experiencing is a delightful mixture of doubt, far too much cheap coffee, and a healthy helping of impending doom.

This is that magical time of year when my very favorite medical aliment in the whole wide world makes it's presence known. No not the Black Plague, I'm a big fan but they've yet to connect the Black Death to end of the semester testing. I do have my suspicions though, I've met a few professors in my college career that I'm pretty sure were at least distantly related to a plague rat. The horrible illness of which I speak is of course the now legendary WEASEL HEADACHE.

No that's not what happens when you watch Encino-Man and Bio-Dome back to back (I think the correct term for that would be Pauly-Shore-icide buuuuuudy, but you shouldn't be too concerned it's only fatal if you watch Jury Duty along with those two) I'm sure anyone out there who has spent any extended period of time with me has heard of this horrible malady. But once again in the spirit of public health I'll explain it to the rest of you.
The Weasel Headache
The Weasel Headache is a peculiar medical condition that only appears at times of high stress, high caffeine ingestion, and decreased blood-alcohol level. The symptoms are very easy to spot, nervous twitch, diminished eyesight from trying to read six weeks worth of Sociology texts in four hours, thoughts of dropping out of school to get a job selling meat on a stick out of a cart on the side of the road, and last but certainly not least an unbearable pain that has been compared to having a small angry rodent with "sharp pointy teeth" crawl into your cranium and start chewing on your optical nerve. Is there a cure for the Weasel Headache? Well some mythologies say that if a weasel fought a basilisk it would win but end up dying, then again perhaps if you already have a stoat roaming around the inside your head introducing a mythical snake to that environment isn't the best of ideas.

So it is with an ill-tempered varmint taking up residence in my skull that I stop and take one last gasp of freedom before the plunge into finals. I wish you the best of luck in the upcoming week and for those of you that survive the hell that awaits, there will be a VIP party at my place Friday the 16th, velvet ropes, a door man, and we're going to christen our yet to be named bar. See you there (if you’re on the list).

peace out yo, and watch out for those weasels