The Nobility of the Almost Human Porpoise

Two of the greatest moments in the history of entertainment can be found on in the original 1966 Batman the Movie. Before I share you all need to see this movie again it's quite possibly the most hilarious I've ever see. Now to business......



Scene One:



Batman and Robin take the BatBoat to examine an ocean buoy with a superpower mirage projector used to help steal Commodore Schmidlapp's yacht. The Caped Crusaders are unaware that The Joker, The Penguin, and The Riddler are preparing to spring their trap from the safety of Penguins penguin-shaped submarine. Suddenly our dastardly villains activate the "remote control penguin magnet" inside the buoy that immediately responds to the metallic objects in the dynamic deuo's utility belts sticking them to the buoy within range of the Penguin's penguin-torpedoes. The Joker fires the first torpedo with a fiendish cackle. But fear not, there is still hope! Batman prys loose his utility belt transmitter, he reverses the polarity and at the very last moment uses the sound was to disrupt the torpedo. It explodes at a safe distance. The Joker launches the second torpedo with the same result. The Joker launches the third and "confound it the batteries are dead" the camera moves away from our doomed heroes, then, a watery explosion. A moment goes by, then we see the Batboat speeding back towards Gothem City. Robin looks over to Batman and says "Gosh Batman, the nobility of the almost-human-porpoise". Batman responds " True Robin, It was noble of that animal to hurl himself into the path of that final torpedo......he gave his life for ours"




Scene Two:



Batman and Robin prepare to storm the evil-doers hideout with "super blinding bat-pellets" but when they arrive all they find is a giant round cartoon like bomb with the fuse burning. Batman sends Robin away the searches for a safe place to explode the bomb. He climbs a bookshelf to throw the bomb out a window, but at that very moment a three-person marching band (featuring an out of tune trumpet, a tuba, and an oversized drum) walks past. Batman climbs down from the bookshelf and runs into the bar in the next room. He tells the bar patrons to flee for their live and prepares to throw the bomb and run. Suddenly he sees two heavy-set ladies sitting at a table still chowing down on crabs and beer. He runs out of the bar onto the wharf carrying the bomb over his head. He turns the corner and sees two Nuns in full "Nun Gear", Batman runs the opposite direction only to find a woman with a baby carriage in his path. He runs off in a third direction - still carrying the bomb over his head like it was the Stanley Cup- down a one-man gang plank to a lower wharf, but who dose he see coming up the gang plank in the opposite direction? It's that dammed three-person marching band again! He changes direction and runs down a different gang plank and prepares to throw the pesky explosive into the water when a man suddenly climbs up a ladder right in front of him. He runs through a crowed of people, past Moby Dick"s Coffee Shop, he leaps up onto a bunch of boxes and lobster traps and once again prepares to dispose of the bomb in the water below. But wait! What's this? Two teenagers smooching in a boat below. This has been a tough day for the Dark Knight! He runs to the other side of the dock an find three guys unloading propane bottles an fifty-gallon drums of oil from a truck. He then sprints off and nearly hits the Nuns again, followed by the woman with babycarrage, and ofcourse that dammed three-person marching band. He runs past the band and once again prepares to throw the bomb into the water......... Ducklings! There are cute little Ducklings in the water, you can't throw the bomb there Batman! He turns around looking for somewhere else to throw the explosive and says, " somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb". Batman runs into then back out of the camera shot, followed by another watery explosion. We see Robin running to the scene, he arrives at the spot we last saw our hero and yells " Batman! Batman!" Batman pops out from behind a pile of metal tubing and says "It's alright Robin"
Robin responds "HOLY HEART FAILURE!". Batman says " Fortunately I was able to dispose that bomb in the nick of time. And shield myself behind these heavy iron pipes". Robin replies "You risked your life to save that rif-raf in the bar?" Batman says "They maybe drinkers Robin but their also human beings, and may be salvaged. I had to do it.



So take it from Batman,


Drinkers are Humans Too and You Should NOT Throw Explosives at Them


Tune in Tomorrow.



Same Bat-Time


Same Bat-Channel


Peace out yo