The following was recently sent to Nittanyproudfoot headquarters in beautiful Tube City, Pa. The message come from Nittanyproudfoot Winter Sports annalist Sanka Coffie. Mr Coffie who is currently in training for the World Pushcart Championships will be joining us on a regular basis during the upcoming Winter Olympics in Vancouver but he has asked us to pass this little op-ed piece along before the start of this year's Stanley Cup Finals
Over the last year a lot has been made over the comparison between the 1980's Oilers and the current Pittsburgh Penguins. It hasn't exactly been difficult to do. You have a young teams beating all expectations led by the face of the league (Crosby/ Gretzky) with a second center that is almost as talented as the first ( Malkin/ Messier) both teams feature an outstanding offensive defensemen (Gonchar? Whitney? Letang?/ Coffey) and both have made long miraculous playoff runs very earlier in their careers.
But the Penguins are not the Oilers and the Oilers are not the Penguins the comparison dose not do justice to the work that either team has put in to their Cup run. The Penguins cannot play like the Oilers in the Finals and expect to win.
All I'm saying, mon, is if we walk Penguin, talk Penguin , and *is* Penguin, then we sure as hell better play hockey Penguin. Experience the Evolution! Feel the rhyme! Get on up, its hockey time! Lord Stanley!
Ladies and gentlemen if you are new to the sport of hockey listen to this very carefully. What is about to happen is very rare and very special. You will not see your team in the Finals every year. It doesn't matter if your team is led by Sidney Crosby, Mario Lemieux, Gordie Howe, or Maurice "Rocket" Richard. Its just too hard to survive the Stanly Cup Playoffs. Enjoy the next week for what it is...one of the greatest events in the sporting world. No mater what the experts have said you better watch closely because anything can happen in the Finals.
Breaking News into the Nittayproudfoot World News Headquarters in beautiful Tube City Pa. With the National Media all but writing off a comeback in the NHL Eastern Conference Finals Coach John Stevens has called a Press Conference on the streets of Philadelphia to assert that his team still retains hope of a Stanley Cup Finals birth.
We now take you live to a city so horrible that Pittisbughers once considered creating a new State rather than be associated with it. ( Motto: Welcome to Westsylvania; We're Not With Those Jagoffs Over There)
Wow Philly looks a lot cleaner than the last time I was there. And its nice to see the Flyers organization pitched in and got RJ Umberger a cart to transport all the dead weight on his team as opposed to last year when he was forced to carry them on his back. Whooooo!
Here's another Nugget of Joy from our Archives to help you Youngsters get through those last few days of the semester. From way back in December of 2005 we present to you.......
Of Rodents and CAT Scans
It's that very special time of year when you get that warm fuzzy feeling deep down in the pit of your stomach. That's right kiddies it's Finals Time! And that emotion that you’re currently experiencing is a delightful mixture of doubt, far too much cheap coffee, and a healthy helping of impending doom.
This is that magical time of year when my very favorite medical aliment in the whole wide world makes it's presence known. No not the Black Plague, I'm a big fan but they've yet to connect the Black Death to end of the semester testing. I do have my suspicions though, I've met a few professors in my college career that I'm pretty sure were at least distantly related to a plague rat. The horrible illness of which I speak is of course the now legendary WEASEL HEADACHE.
No that's not what happens when you watch Encino-Man and Bio-Dome back to back (I think the correct term for that would be Pauly-Shore-icide buuuuuudy, but you shouldn't be too concerned it's only fatal if you watch Jury Duty along with those two) I'm sure anyone out there who has spent any extended period of time with me has heard of this horrible malady. But once again in the spirit of public health I'll explain it to the rest of you. The Weasel Headache The Weasel Headache is a peculiar medical condition that only appears at times of high stress, high caffeine ingestion, and decreased blood-alcohol level. The symptoms are very easy to spot, nervous twitch, diminished eyesight from trying to read six weeks worth of Sociology texts in four hours, thoughts of dropping out of school to get a job selling meat on a stick out of a cart on the side of the road, and last but certainly not least an unbearable pain that has been compared to having a small angry rodent with "sharp pointy teeth" crawl into your cranium and start chewing on your optical nerve. Is there a cure for the Weasel Headache? Well some mythologies say that if a weasel fought a basilisk it would win but end up dying, then again perhaps if you already have a stoat roaming around the inside your head introducing a mythical snake to that environment isn't the best of ideas.
So it is with an ill-tempered varmint taking up residence in my skull that I stop and take one last gasp of freedom before the plunge into finals. I wish you the best of luck in the upcoming week.
12022 Days 11 Hours and 54 Minutes and Counting Since the Flyers Won a Cup (And We Thought the Pirate Franchise was a Joke)
The only sporting event I've ever looked forward to more than Pens -Flyers in the Eastern Finals is Penn State -Ohio State 2005, we all know how that ended.
If this series doesn't make you want to punch Ben Franklin in the face you might as well turn in your membership card to the human race because you no longer have a soul.
Over the last year a lot has been made over the comparison between the 1980's Oilers and the current Pittsburgh Penguins. It hasn't exactly been difficult to do. You have a young teams beating all expectations led by the face of the league (Crosby/ Gretzky) with a second center that is almost as talented as the first ( Malkin/ Messier) both teams feature an outstanding offensive defensemen (Gonchar? Whitney? Letang?/ Coffey) and both have made long miraculous playoff runs very earlier in their careers.
