DON'T PANIC

In the words of the professor from Futurerama Good News Everybody!

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galexy Movie is not Crap!

It's not a disappointment And it will not lead to roving bands of dorks with pitchforks and torches burning down megaplexes nation wide.

I just got back from the Waterfront were I had expected to view a slightly below average movie about an above average book. I've been talking about it for weeks, the fact that I knew this movie would disappoint me but I was gonna see it anyway. But I'm very very happy to report I WAS WRONG. This certainly wasn't the best move I've seen this year but I'll say this about it, it's everything that's good about the Douglass Adams books. If you've got some extra time and your in the mood for a good dork movie give it a try I think you'll like it.

peace out yo ( and don't forget your towel)

The WhiteOut's Back!

Andy Chiodo and the Wilkes Barre-Scranton Penguins play Binghamton Senators in game five of the first round of the Calder Cup playoffs (series tied 2-2) on Friday night 7:05 Click Here to hear the Internet Broadcast. If you've never listened to a Baby Pens game online you need to tune in for at least a few minutes so you can experience the joy that is the Penguin's announcer. He is without a doubt the most biased announcer in the history of sport. You have to hear him complain about bad penalties you'd think someone had just put his pet gerbil in front of a firing squad.

p.s the WhiteOut is the nickname of the Baby Pens team/fans/home arena during the playoffs

peace out yo

The Keypad Chatters at the Thirteenth Hour !

me in a few weeks!



DAMN YOU FINALS!!!!!!!

This isn't really a post, it's just an apology for not posting a week in advance. All the signs are so evident- the nervous twitch, the diminished eyesight from trying to read far too many text books, and last but certainly not least the world famous weasel headache. No that isn't what happens when you watch Encino-Man and Bio-Dome back to back. This peculiar ailment only shows its ugly face at times of extreme pressure. Why the weasel headache? well it's earned it's name because it feels like a small angry rodent with "sharp pointy teeth" has crawled into your cranium and started chewing on your optical nerve. If you haven't guessed by now finals are fast approaching and the work/anxiety are building to a fever pitch.

So baring divine intervention this will probably be the last that you hear from me for at least a week. If somehow I survive till May I'm taking a week vacation to catch up on my sleep and maybe if I'm lucky hit the trails for a few days. I need to lock my laptop in my closet and run off to see some of the world before I'm dammed to a summer of working in a gas station. So if I somehow live till May I'm going to have myself a little excitement just like my hero Uncle Matt from Fraggle Rock.

peace out yo

Why You Should NOT Support the Arts!

140 years ago today Abraham Lincoln was assassinated while watching a play. The moral of this story? Never let anyone talk you into going to the theatre, no good can come of it. I bet poor Abe would have preferred to stay home and read a book, But NO! Mary Todd just had to go see a show. Don't make the same mistake as our dearly departed 16th president, stay home, rent a couple movies, and enjoy not being shot in the back of the head. peace out yo

Whoo Me!

a few weeks ago i had to teach a class on the history of mckeesport at the high school for one of my classes. and since i'm a boastful egomaniac (who couldn't think of anything else to post) i had to share my evaluation with everyone.

here's a little taste.....

Exelent knowledge base; research evident. Good voice projection + eye contact. Rarely used notes or plans. Stated an objective + taught to it.

Held students interest more like storytelling in a relaxed voice + atmosphere. Students enjoyed + were interested in topic had opportunity to participate and add to the lesson

Whoo Me!
Ok i'm finished gloating

peace out yo

A List of My Top Ten Non-Hedberg Quotes ( in no particular order)

10. "We must not believe the many, who say that only free people ought to be educated,
but we should rather believe the philosophers who say that only the educated are free."
Epictetus (AD 55?-135?), Greek Stoic philosopher

9. "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx

8. "Poverty is the worst form of violence."
Mohandas Gandhi

7. "There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why...
I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?"
Robert Francis Kennedy

6. "We are now faced with the fact that TOMORROW is TODAY.
We are confronted with the fierce urgency of NOW.
In this unfolding conundrum of life and history,
there *is* such a thing as being too late. This is no time
for apathy or complacency. THIS IS A TIME FOR VIGOROUS
AND POSITIVE ACTION."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

5. "Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do,
something to love, and something to hope for."
Joseph Addison (1672-1719), English essayist

4. "Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared."
Buddha (563?-483? BC), [Siddhartha Gautama]
Indian mystic, founder of Buddhism

3. "A little revolution, now and then, is a healthy thing. It is as natural as lightning."
- Thomas Jefferson

2. "In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea."
-- Douglas Noel Adams (b. 1952), British author

1 1/2 A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five
Groucho Marx

1. Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Groucho Marx 1890-1977

More on my new found love of the Marx Bros soon
-peace out yo-

MITCH HEDBERG WEEK FINALE

So this is the final day of MITCH HEDBERG WEEK and through poor planning i've ended up with two of my favorite quotes left. i thought about making next week either pope week or mr. vandemar week (after beth's dearly departed lobster) but sadly neither one was known for their witty sound bites.

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU HERE ARE MY TOP TWO MITCH HEDBERG QUOTES.........

MITCH HEDBERG WEEK QUOTE #7
bananas are the opposite of roadlights.
green's like........Whoa slow down.
yellow's like.........go right ahead nice and easy .
and red's like......... where the hell did you get that banana?


MITCH HEDBERG WEEK QUOTE #8

today is a very good day. i have a roll of lifesavers in my pocket and pineapple is next


peace out yo ( especially you mitch)

MITCH HEDBERG WEEK QUOTE #6

"Y'know I order a club sandwhich all the time. And I'm not even a member. I don't know how I get away with it. I like my sanwhiches witth three peices of bread. So do I. Lets form a club. Okay, but we're gonna need more stipulation. Yes we do. Instead of cutting it once, lets cut it again. Yeah, four triangles. And we shall dump chips in the middle. Let me ask you something, how do you feel about frilly toothpicks? I'm for them."

Award Ceremony? I Thought It Was Luau

about a month ago i got a letter from penn state inviting me to some sort of award ceremony. well i really didn't want to go but my mom thought it was a big deal, and since i was a complete academic retard in high school i figured i'd let her enjoy the fruits of grounding me for bad report cards for the better part of twelve years. i got home from tutoring at the high school put a Hawaiian shirt on over my pearl jam tour shirt and changed into my sandals that smell a little like the Yough River and headed out the door. i got to the campus a few minutes late and immediately went to the "green room" where i discovered that all the other "honorees" who apparently had some prior experience with this ceremony had dressed for the occasion.

we followed a group of robed professors into the hall, me in my Hawaiian shirt and shorts leading a group of collage scholars in suits and dresses. i sat through four or five unbearably long speeches, and then as i was staring off into space ( thinking about sneaking out the side door and grabbing a frosty) they called my name . i walked up onto the stage shook hands with the "campus executive officer" and a few professors then an old lady at a table handed me an envelope and signaled that i should exit the stage on the other side. as i walked down the stage steps a gave a little wave to the audience making sure i acknowledged a group of board members and alumni that i could see from the looks on their faces didn't approve of my tastes in award ceremony attire. so i went back to my seat opened my envelope and exclaimed (a bit too loud)"what the hell, this is what i wasted my night on. i would have been better off skipping this a playing frisbee instead" in the envelope was a piece of cardboard that said "academic achievement award" and had of scribbled signatures at the bottom and a penn state pin that i probably could have taken from the admissions office if i really wanted one. as i was leaving the ceremony i saw a professor i had for an english lit class last year . he said to me " is this what you usually wear to award ceremonies?" my response "Award Ceremony I thought this was a Luau, no wonder i couldn't find a good pina collada."

peace out yo


MITCH HEDBERG QUOTE #5

"I haven't slept for 10 days, because that would be too long."

MITCH HEDBERG WEEK QUOTE #4

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here.

MITCH HEDBERG WEEK QUOTE #3

So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny.

It's april 2nd and there's no news of a great april fools trick so MITCH HEDBERG WEEK continues. i don't have a lot to say about the death of the Pope. but regardless of your religious beliefs you gotta admit that john paul was one hell of a pope.

peace out yo


MITCH HEDBERG QUOTE # 2

I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said Please Try Again because they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I though I might have opened the yogurt wrong...or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me, "c'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top."

Go See Sin City!

you need to go see sin city right now.... go .... i mean it....... stop reading.......stand up walk out the door find some form of transportation to take you to the nearest theatre . believe me you won't regret it. if you've read sin city you'll love it, if you have ever read any comic you'll love it, and if you just want to see the most visually stunning movie since the matrix you will no be disappointed . are you still reading this? i told you have a movie to see. i guarantee you'll love it

In memory of my favorite comic Mitch Hedberg i will post one of his quotes every day next week ( unless this is i really great april fools joke then next week will be Mitch Hedberg is asshole week). i guess it was a bad idea to skip his last show in pittsburgh just to go to class. i kinda thought i could catch his act sometime next year. ah well that's life for ya

peace out yo

MITCH HEDBERG QUOTE #1
"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

Mitch Hedberg Febuary 24,1968- March 30, 2005

I'm in a bit of a hurry to get out the door ( i'm off to see Sin City at the waterfront) but i had to post the before i left. more on this sad bit of news later

fishboy!

so in honor of Pittsburgh hosting some kind of fishing competition this summer the local cable company (comcast) started a contest to win fishing gear, boats, trips, ect. and though i have no interest in winning fishing gear i have really enjoyed the commercials featuring a character called fishboy that mocks fisherman and sings "row row row your boat" to a kinda techno beat on a keyboard. pure genius!

peace out yo