Eggcellent !

one of the many byproducts of the loss of the steel industry in the Mon Valley was a drastic population drop that led to the closing of many old beautiful churches. most of these churches were torn down for no apparent reason, a few managed to survive the wrecking ball by becoming night clubs or youth centers. but one of these churches in particular has found an interesting new existence as the home of a slightley radical christian "church" ( aka cult). now i bring this church up because it was a year ago last friday that they rented out the south allegheny school district football stadium for a good friday "service" that included the the ritualistically whipping of the easter bunny-

nothen says i love my lord and savior like beating the crap out of a man in a peter cotton-tail costume with a bull-whip. so i guess what i'm trien to say in a roundabout way is.......


HAPPY BELATED EASTER EVERYBODY!

peace out yo

Mocked By Wendell Young!

So I went down to the Civic aka Mellon Arena on Tuesday to watch The Penguins Cup, the high school hockey championship. There was a rumor that some of the old Penguins would be there signing autographs so I brought a few pucks along with the hope of getting them singed by Ken Wregget or my favorite former crackhead Kevin Stevens. Well I guess most of the big names stayed home because all the star power the pens could muster for this little shindig was Peter Taglinetti and Wendell Young. Now for those of you who are a little hazy about the Penguins roster from over a decade ago Wendell Young was a backup/ third string goaltender on the Stanley Cup teams. He even played a few games on one of the many occasions when Borasso was injured. Well anyway, I guess Wendell had the night off from Burger King so Mario paid him a few bucks to sit at a table and sign Xeroxed photos of himself for people who didn't know who the hell he was. Being the complete dork I am, I did know who the hell Wendell Young was and decided to get a puck signed.

Well I walked up to Wendell who was sitting at a table looking very lonely. As I started to hand him a puck someone bumped into my arm and the puck flew into the air. For an excruciatingly long moment I fumbled with it before it clattered to the ground with a rubbery thud. I immediately retrieved my "puck-of-shame" from beneath the table and handed it to Wendell, he looked up at me and said "With reflexes like that I bet you never played goalie". For a split second I felt like I had been vanquished, then I realized I was talking to Wendell Freaken Young and responded "Well it never stopped you".


A few weeks ago I wrote about Philosophers, well i looked into what you need to do to become a philosopher. Here's what I found at www.princetonreview.com.....

You can become a philosopher simply by deciding to call yourself one. If thinking about life is practicing philosophy, who's to say that you have to be paid by a university to do it? Henry David Thoreau retreated from his fellow human beings, built a cabin at Walden Pond, and wrote books of philosophy. It helps to get published, of course, but you don't necessarily have to care whether other people follow and study your philosophy.

If this teaching thing doesn't work out I think I may have found another possible profession!

peace out yo

The Green and Red Light !

The Green and Red Light (on the far right) is a traffic signal that is rarely seen in the continental United States. After doing some research I've discovered that the correct reaction to this particular signal is to stick your head in your glove compartment and mash the gas pedal with your left hand.

Happy Driving!


peace out yo

Too Much to Say and No Words to Say It

There's so much going on, so many words to say but i can't think of a single one. all weekend my mind was filled to capacity with a million different thoughts that just rattled around in my skull with nowhere to go. It was a long weekend, i had to wake up at 5am for work both days and i was so disparate to enjoy my weekend that i ended up being awake past midnight friday, saturday, and sunday.

36 hours+ 12 hours of sleep = a head that feels like its filled with rubber cement

so since my brain is on a temporary hiatus here a a few pictures i wanted to "share with the class"


peace out yo

The Greatest Motivational Poster the World Has Ever Seen! I think this should be displayed in every office and every school in America. Fly, Fatass, Fly!

My slightly deformed dogs.

Lome (on the left) is part lab and part weener dog. Mora (on the right) is part lab and part Napoleon Bonaparte. I swear I caught her making plans to invade Russia last week

Maybe March Madness Should Be Treated With Electro-Shock Therapy

The Future of the NHL? i read this story yesterday, apparently the nhl is considering changing the color of the ice in nhl rinks to improve visibility for fans. when the nhl finally resumes play in about five years the ice surface may be "electric powder blue", the blue lines fluorescent orange, and the center line (traditionaly red) could be dark blue. i think i like the idea of blue ice, now if the nhl could just find a way to replace the flyers with a team of ice skating monkeys. actually now that i think of it the flyers look like a bunch of chimps wearing skates already.

peace out yo

Dirty, Theiving Gypsies!

alright i hope you guys like these list posts cuse i've got a lot of stuff to say tonight...

1) i love this picture, part of my family was originally from Hungry(gypsy groundzero). i can imagine my great-great-great grandmother chasing gypsies off the front lawn yelling "dirty thieving gypsy or possibly being chased out of someone else's front yard as they yell dirty thieving gypsy". i'm totally cool with either possability

2) a little update on my quest for a good nights sleep last week,
Thursday- the greater pittsburgh blood bank called at 8:00 to ask me to make a "deposit" my response to this was "leave me the hell alone ya god damned vampire" i hung up and immediately realized that i sound a lot like my grandfather when i'm tired and in a bad mood . ha god dammed vampire Sonny would be so proud.
Friday- ok my last chance to sleep in during spring break. and well a barking dog and some noisy neighbor destroyed my dreams of peaceful slumber.

who needs sleep anyway, i'll catch up on my sleep the first year i'm dead.

3) while i was cleaning my house last week i turned on the matrix trilogy for some background noise. one of the features of the matrix box set is a commentary by two people they called "philosophers", now i'm not quite sure how you gain the title of philosopher but judging by the commentaries of these two it can't be that hard. so i think at someday i'll just start referring to myself as a philosopher and see if anyone calls my bluff. hey if those two can get away with it why can't i?
one more thing on this topic. what ever you do don't watch this commentary you'll never get those wasted hours of your life back believe me.

4) it's a bad idea to watch the food network when your hungry and trying to go on a diet DAMN YOU IRON CHIEF! WHY DO YOU TEMPT ME?

5) i have more stuff to talk about but it's getting late and i have a class at nine. so i'll say goodbye for now with the promise of more to come.

tune in tomorrow,

same bat- time

same bat-channel

peace out yo

"Now I lay me down to sleep, a bag of peanuts at my feet. If I should die before I wake, give them to my brother Jake."

spring break is making me tired

i've been trying desperately to sleep late for the last few days and it seems like the entire world is out to wake me before 9:oo. on monday i was dragged from my bed at about 8:00 because my brother kinda forgot to go to school and needed someone to sign him in. on tuesday morning at about 7:00 my brother woke me so i could assist him in his quest for hair gel. on wednesday the phone rang at 8:00, someone that sounded an awful lot like my ninth grade gym teacher asked to speak to my dad about some kind of school stuff ( i don't know what she said, i was busy dealing with some morning eye stuff). i politely asked her why a teacher would be home at 8:00 on a weekday then began repeatedly smashing the phone receiver into my desk, hoping to break her nose via telephone line. i swear to god if someone wakes me tomorrow i can't take responsibility for my actions. you've been warned !

I found a great site that had a whole bunch of old tv quotes including some from m*a*s*h. here's a few of my favorites......

Hawkeye: This is it, Radar, we're approaching nirvana.
Radar: Is that near Chicago?

Radar: My father didn't have me til he was sixty-three. First time we played peek-a-boo he had a stroke.

Frank, finding Radar's teddy bear: Don't tell me he sleeps with you!
Radar: I'm hoping to do better, sir.

Radar writing home: As usual, I am writing real slow, because I know you can't read fast.

Nurse: Does anyone know where the vascular clamps are?
B.J.: Yeah, they're in a box of things you can't swallow.

Hawkeye: This coffee is made of gravy that didn't make it

Hawkeye: I loved a girl in San Francisco once. No, twice.

Radar: You're not sober, sir.
Hawkeye: I would really resent that if I wasn't drunk.

Hawkeye: Bite your tongue, Margaret. Or better yet let me do it.

Hawkeye: As a doctor, I can assure you we'll all be a lot warmer if we press our bodies together. So let's all line up here: girl, boy, girl... and the rest of you are on your own.

Hawkeye: I can't say that I've loved you all. But I've loved as many of you as I could!!


ok i'm gonna try to go to sleep again now, i have a bad feeling someone already plotting to wake me in the small hours of the morning. i hope they're ready to accept the consequences


peace out yo

A Farewell to My Lovable Rustbucket

I sold my car yesterday and for as pathetic as my 1993 Toyota corolla was I can't help but miss it a little. Last week my parents van broke down again and they decided that it was time to put it out to pasture. So they bought a new van with all kinds of nifty gadgets and told me that I was welcome to take over ownership of the van if I paid for the repairs. So I forked out the loot to fix the van and now I have a not-so-new set of wheels of my own ( hey at least the van has a speedometer). Anyway I sold my quickly deteoriating car for $250 dollars and moved all my car stuff into the van. For those of you that have never had the privilege of riding in my car here's a list of my car stuff....
1. Frisbee- actually two Frisbees (you never know when one might break down)

2. A Penn State blanket - hey you never know when the opportunity for a nap will arise

3. Chocolate covered granola bar- Helth food dipped in chocolate I love it !

4. A monster named Shenanigans - Shenanigans is my car mascot he has orange fur and green horns

5. Five different pairs of semi-broken sunglasses including my "Bono shades" with brown lenses

6. Mini Penn State windsock for rearview mirror- when you turn the heat on it moves in the wind!

7. A mini-golf pencil I stole 4 years ago

8. And finally a Kerry von Erick "The Texas Tornado" wrestling action figure that sits in my. ash tray.

that's it for now

Peace out Yo

Ps.

beth, i'm all about a trip to get wings next week let me know when you wanna go, i'm open all week.